I got a letter from my aunt the other week, and she mentioned that she was reading a book I had sent her, Dear Mr. Jefferson: Letters from a Nantucket Gardener. The gardener in question doesn't mess around—she takes her garden very seriously, and gardens on a large scale. My aunt's comment was that she likes to think she would enjoy that level of gardening, but in reality she probably wouldn't find it half as rewarding as it seems in imagination. And that struck me, because I have so many things like that.
I would like to sew. The idea of going and buying the fabric, prowling through the store to find something really beautiful, and then coming home and having something beautiful take shape in my hands pleases me, and I can see myself doing it. But of course, my fantasy doesn't include the hours spent redoing my mistakes, or the impatience I would feel with all the pinning and the measuring.
I would love to be able to refurbish houses. This one pains me, because I know I wouldn't enjoy the actual hands-on work, and I know even more surely that I would mess up the work. I'm not allowed to paint at all, and I imagine wallpaper and flooring and electrical and plumbing would all be the same kind of thing. But it doesn't stop the wistful sigh whenever I pass a beautiful house that needs someone to love it and make it shine again.
I could go on and on. Various hobbies, activities, jobs, etc., unfold in possibility before me, and all of them are enjoyable in my head. But in real life? And I guess that's the question: how do you know, without wasting a lot of time and energy and money, which possibilities are doomed before they start and which you would really enjoy and be successful at if you gave them a good try?
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
5 things that make me happy
It has proven somewhat challenging this month to remember to be happy. It hasn't been hard to remember to enjoy my family, etc., but the more all-encompassing remembrance that my life is a good one and there's no reason to feel discontented or restless has been a little harder to hang onto. And Mondays in general are kind of difficult. So I give you 5 things that made me happy today:
1. My new name. It is an indescribable relief not to have to spell it, repeat it, correct it, or answer questions about it every time I talk to someone new!
2. Greyson's laugh. It's so delightful, I wish I could bottle it and sell it.
3. My breast reduction. It makes such a difference, even though it's not quite healed yet.
4. eBay. I love to shop, and eBay allows me to do it from the comfort of my home, and economically to boot!
5. A clean house. It's amazing how much difference it makes when all the toys are picked up—and extra bonus today, I actually got the boys to do the picking up for me! It took them three hours, but they did it.
1. My new name. It is an indescribable relief not to have to spell it, repeat it, correct it, or answer questions about it every time I talk to someone new!
2. Greyson's laugh. It's so delightful, I wish I could bottle it and sell it.
3. My breast reduction. It makes such a difference, even though it's not quite healed yet.
4. eBay. I love to shop, and eBay allows me to do it from the comfort of my home, and economically to boot!
5. A clean house. It's amazing how much difference it makes when all the toys are picked up—and extra bonus today, I actually got the boys to do the picking up for me! It took them three hours, but they did it.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
catching up
After two and a half weeks of enforced inactivity following my surgery, I'm just now trying to get caught up. And that means everywhere—with the laundry, with my journals, with the piles of papers and things on my desk, with friends both Internet and Real Life, with the running of my household, with running in general, with the care and discipline of my children, with my own interests and ambitions.
It doesn't seem like a long time, two and a half weeks, and in some ways before it started it seemed like it would be a nice vacation, but once in the middle of it I was overwhelmed, wondering how I was ever going to get to a place where I felt like I was swimming again, instead of fighting the current.
I've taken some strides—at least I caught up with the laundry and got my journals in! And now my last helper has gone home, so I am perforce back in the regular parenting routine, which I hope will result in better-behaved children. Even though I've been here in the house the whole time, the lack of my influence on their bedtimes, naptimes, and even on the whirling dervish hours of the late afternoon/early evening has made itself felt.
I'm getting a little ahead of myself, since I really am not healed enough to jump back in with both feet. So the key will be somehow managing to ease myself back into my regular routines without overdoing it, which sounds a lot easier than I suspect it will be!
It doesn't seem like a long time, two and a half weeks, and in some ways before it started it seemed like it would be a nice vacation, but once in the middle of it I was overwhelmed, wondering how I was ever going to get to a place where I felt like I was swimming again, instead of fighting the current.
I've taken some strides—at least I caught up with the laundry and got my journals in! And now my last helper has gone home, so I am perforce back in the regular parenting routine, which I hope will result in better-behaved children. Even though I've been here in the house the whole time, the lack of my influence on their bedtimes, naptimes, and even on the whirling dervish hours of the late afternoon/early evening has made itself felt.
I'm getting a little ahead of myself, since I really am not healed enough to jump back in with both feet. So the key will be somehow managing to ease myself back into my regular routines without overdoing it, which sounds a lot easier than I suspect it will be!
Saturday, January 06, 2007
book report XII
Catching up on my recently read books:
Perry Mason, Case of the Green-Eyed Sister and Case of the Empty Tin. Both are fairly convoluted plots, definitely fresh ideas, but seemed a bit overdone, really. Too much attempt to complicate, I thought.
James Patterson, Kiss the Girls. This was a reread, and the book still kept me on the edge of my seat and compelled me to finish it in a day. This is one of a small subset of my books—single volumes, written by major, much-published authors, that I really enjoy, but which just don't inspire me to buy the rest of the series. Since my to-be-read stack and list are both pretty full, I don't feel that I'm limiting myself too much by not wanting to get the rest of Patterson's series (as an example) at this point, even though I really like this one book. Besides, it leaves me a whole new series I could pick up if I ever felt I was running short on new books!
Giovanni Boccaccio, The Decameron. This is a book of short stories, essentially, with a framing device that 10 young ladies and gentlemen have fled the 1348 plague and are telling stories to each other to while away the time until the plague has passed. The book was written around 1350, and was a fascinating study into the views on love and marriage (which mostly don't seem to have been the same thing) held by 14th-century Italians of a certain (upper) class. It was a slow read—took me three weeks to finish—but definitely interesting.
Lydia Maria Child, The American Frugal Housewife. In the 19th century, this was a highly influential work, the manual for practical housewifery. It contains cooking tips, recipes, cleaning tips, and many pieces of moral advice on how to manage your money and your family. Obviously fairly outdated today (many of the ingredients, such as pearlash, I've never even heard of), it was still interesting reading and excellent reference material.
Chelsea Quinn Yarbro, Better in the Dark. This is one of Yarbro's better works, much to my surprise. It has a lot of her usual flaws—conversations that go on too long while the reader is anxious to get back to the action, Saint-Germain's continual brooding, etc. But it also has a finely drawn, extremely compelling portrait of the time period (Dark Ages Germany), a very real-feeling heroine, and the action remains engrossing.
Perry Mason, Case of the Green-Eyed Sister and Case of the Empty Tin. Both are fairly convoluted plots, definitely fresh ideas, but seemed a bit overdone, really. Too much attempt to complicate, I thought.
James Patterson, Kiss the Girls. This was a reread, and the book still kept me on the edge of my seat and compelled me to finish it in a day. This is one of a small subset of my books—single volumes, written by major, much-published authors, that I really enjoy, but which just don't inspire me to buy the rest of the series. Since my to-be-read stack and list are both pretty full, I don't feel that I'm limiting myself too much by not wanting to get the rest of Patterson's series (as an example) at this point, even though I really like this one book. Besides, it leaves me a whole new series I could pick up if I ever felt I was running short on new books!
Giovanni Boccaccio, The Decameron. This is a book of short stories, essentially, with a framing device that 10 young ladies and gentlemen have fled the 1348 plague and are telling stories to each other to while away the time until the plague has passed. The book was written around 1350, and was a fascinating study into the views on love and marriage (which mostly don't seem to have been the same thing) held by 14th-century Italians of a certain (upper) class. It was a slow read—took me three weeks to finish—but definitely interesting.
Lydia Maria Child, The American Frugal Housewife. In the 19th century, this was a highly influential work, the manual for practical housewifery. It contains cooking tips, recipes, cleaning tips, and many pieces of moral advice on how to manage your money and your family. Obviously fairly outdated today (many of the ingredients, such as pearlash, I've never even heard of), it was still interesting reading and excellent reference material.
Chelsea Quinn Yarbro, Better in the Dark. This is one of Yarbro's better works, much to my surprise. It has a lot of her usual flaws—conversations that go on too long while the reader is anxious to get back to the action, Saint-Germain's continual brooding, etc. But it also has a finely drawn, extremely compelling portrait of the time period (Dark Ages Germany), a very real-feeling heroine, and the action remains engrossing.
Monday, January 01, 2007
Happy New Year, 2007!
I strongly considered doing another month-by-month set of resolutions this year. Trust me, there's no shortage. I could fill up 11 months pretty easily with all the things I wish I did better. But last year I really burnt out ... and I think I missed a fundamental point: I have a good life.
So this year, I have one single resolution: Be happy with what I have.
I have always spent so much time focusing on what's to come, what more there is, what's next, that I rarely just stop and enjoy the moment—and even worse, I sometimes miss the moment entirely because my thoughts are focused on the horizon. 2007 is about looking around instead of looking ahead.
So this year, I have one single resolution: Be happy with what I have.
I have always spent so much time focusing on what's to come, what more there is, what's next, that I rarely just stop and enjoy the moment—and even worse, I sometimes miss the moment entirely because my thoughts are focused on the horizon. 2007 is about looking around instead of looking ahead.
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