5 things I like about my husband

I thought about writing this entry yesterday ... even before he went shopping on Black Friday without me and I needed the reminders. (Although, I grant you, he went to Walmart, one place I would never want to go, day after Thanksgiving or not, so I'm less annoyed than if he went to, say, Target. Or the mall.)

1. He likes to shop. Since I like to shop as well, this means we're rarely at a loss for something to do when we go out, and I don't get half the flak that most women get about shopping.

2. When you ask him a question, he knows the answer ... or a reasonable facsimile of one! It's one of his most entrancing (entertaining, impressive) traits - he's interested in everything, and wants to learn about it. He considers pretty much everything to be his 'area of expertise', and is often right.

3. He's handy. Much as the constant pressure he puts himself under to finish household projects may annoy me, it's a huge comfort to know that he can fix pretty much anything.

4. He's a really good Daddy. I love to watch him playing with the kids, or listen to him doing math problems with the boys. He's a natural!

5. He's hot. :)

thankful

It's downright obligatory to be thankful today, and of course I have to make a list. So, here are the five things happening in my house right now that I'm thankful for:

1. Lou is brining the turkey. I am tremendously thankful to have a husband who is a good, and willing cook, and happy to take on the task of preparing Thanksgiving dinner.

2. Veronica is taking a nap. It has taken me a lot of hard work and obstinacy to hold onto my kids' naps, and I am quite proud of myself that Greyson napped until he was 5 and a half and Charles until he was almost 5 (still does, some afternoons when he has his quiet time), and that Veronica gets her temperament refreshed regularly every day.

3. The weather is lovely and temperate. Yes, I live in New England by choice and love it, but I'm not such a fan of cold weather. I don't much look forward to the temperature dipping into "Oh, my God, it's cold!" and staying there, so the longer it holds off the happier I am.

4. Greyson and Charles are playing chess with Mark. Not sure if I'm grateful that the kids have an uncle who likes to play board games with them; that they're both so big and getting to be good game players; or that they're quiet and entertained and not asking me for something. Or maybe all three!

5. It's just us for Thanksgiving. Over the years, I have been through many bouts of longing for a big, happy family who loved to get together over the holidays. And yes, after four years I can now occasionally say that I miss my mom. Also, I continue to feel hurt and angry with my remaining family because none of them make the slightest effort to be part of my life or my children's lives. But right now, I kind of like that it can be a nice, quiet Thanksgiving day, hanging out, relaxing, and no added stress or family drama.

Page 56

Today I give you "page 56", which seems to be sweeping Facebook. Take the book nearest you, turn to page 56, and write down the 5th sentence. Just because I think it's fun, I give you now "page 56" for every book I'm in the middle of right now. Should be interesting!

"Almanzo was very hungry."

"He strode forward, but the old man was gone."

"He must have gone no more than a few feet from it."

"It was the first piece of Paleolithic art ever found by someone with a knowledge of stratigraphy and human antiquity."

"The education system, for example, was surprisingly good."

"He did this so effectively that the royal Spanish fleet refused to face him in open battle and remained bottled up in its home harbors for more than a year."

"The ladies, una voce, bawled out, 'Your informants, sir, we conclude, are those city ladies who prefer a sofa to a bed: we advise you to alter your sermon, by substituting the word sofa for bundling, and on your return home preach it to them, for experience has told us that city folks send more children into the country without fathers or mothers to own them, than are born among us; therefore, you see, a sofa is more dangerous than a bed.'"

"''Tis soon told, as I said afore; and shall be honestly told.'"

"The carrots we grow today originated in the Mediterranean."

"And then I caught my breath, and they must have caught theirs."

"He was also put under arrest so he cannot leave his room for a month; all this for not going to church."

"'That gate,' said the under-gardener, turning with great deliberation towards the south, and embracing the whole of that part of England with one comprehensive sweep of his arm."

"Upon the other hand, the terrible truth that pain is a mode through which man may realise himself exercised a wonderful fascination over the world."

"This day came ye out in the month Abib."

"The bottom photo (b) shows the site being excavated."

"One is to dig out any woody plants and then cut out all the herbaceous ones close to the ground with a mower, brush cutter, string trimmer, or with a hand tool such as a sickle or scythe."

"When they reached the top they saw that it was a very small island, not more than twenty acres; and from this height the sea looked larger and more desolate than it did from the deck, or even the fighting top, of the Dawn Treader."

(Clearly, I'm reading a few too many books at a time!)

book reviews

Even more of 'em! Yay!

Anne Perry, Silence in Hanover Close. Not bad. Shook things up a bit, giving some of the regulars more to do and others less. The plot was interesting, if the basis for it was a little shaky.

L. M. Montgomery, The Blue Castle. Really good. Loved the plot, the main character, the overall theme. I hadn't expected it to be so good, and was delighted with it.

Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin, Three Cups of Tea. This was my book group's latest choice. Can't say I loved it, really. I thought the writing was good and displayed a real passion for the subject, and it's rarely a chore to read a book whose author loved it. And it's undeniable that the guy is doing good work at great personal sacrifice ... but I wasn't wild about the protagonist, who I thought had a lot of real trouble living in two worlds and didn't always do justice to either one; and I got very tired of the tales of peril, lost in the Middle East with no way to contact the people at home who loved him, usually just because he had jumped into a situation with both feet and his eyes firmly closed. Overall, I didn't mind reading it, but I won't be keeping it.

Charles Mackay, Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds. This one was a little disappointing to me. I had hoped for more, I guess. That said, it's a book chock-full of examples of mass stupidity ... but it's highly overwritten and very dense. It was an interesting read, but not a keeper.

book reviews

I have quite the stack of finished books! As we're getting closer to the end of the year, I'm quite excited - I intend to reshuffle all my TBR books and shake up the stacks a bit, and to acquire several new books. (Yes, 2009 is going to have to be another year of little-to-no book purchasing, as the dent I've made in my TBR stack is sizeable but not big enough.)

Cynthia Peale, The White Crow. Peale writes a series set in Victorian Boston. I quite like it. They're not amazingly written, but they're solid and interesting, with good characters.

Louis L'Amour, The Man from Skibbereen. Just when you thought Mr. L only had one type of protagonist! This guy is straight off the boat from Ireland, stumbles into a dangerous situation basically through being a dope, and needs to go from there to being a competent westerner very fast. Very fun.

Steven E. Woodworth, Nothing But Victory. This overview of the Army of the Tennessee, from birth to dissolution, is nothing short of masterful. If I had a complaint, it would be that the end of the war with the men going home is too short, without enough detail. Other than that, the book was enjoyably readable, firmly conveyed its author's passion for his subject without being too over-the-top, and overall made for excellent pleasure reading in addition to being a fine, solid addition to the research library.

Charles C. Mann, 1491. Loved this book. The basic theory of the book is that it's an overview of the native cultures the year before Columbus arrived in the Americas. The author doesn't shy away from controversial claims, and in fact embraces them, although he does a good job of making the reader aware that not everyone agrees with him. I found it to be a fascinating book, filled with ideas that were new to me, and consider it not only well worth reading, but also well worth recommending.

addendum to the holiday movies

I can't believe I forgot to mention The Ref in my list of must-see holiday films. This one's a special must, I think, for anyone who expects the holidays to be all silent nights and joy to the world. Because we all tend to put ourselves under so much pressure to be merry throughout the season, and to spend every moment appreciating what we have. But the holiday season also is a time when we are reminded of the absence of people and times that we loved; when we are surrounded by people we don't always get along with; when our houses are in an uproar, with presents and decorations creating extra clutter and organizational issues; when we worry about money, materialism, and the messages we send when we choose gifts; and when we tend to put our lives under a microscope and every flaw we see looks completely disfiguring.

For all of that, I love the holidays. I've been singing carols for six weeks, trying to figure out maximum placement for the tree, holding myself back from putting out the decorations in order not to drown the rest of the house in sugarplums. I just like to keep a certain amount of perspective in the midst of my blissful Dickensian haze!

5 things that make me happy today

Sorry I missed my list yesterday. I could give you 5 reasons I didn't have a chance to blog, but really all it takes is three. Children, that is. They had me hopping from pillar to post yesterday. Today is much better, with absolutely nothing on the calendar. These are days that are becoming more and more rare. So today, with the whole day spreading before me unscheduled, these are the things that make me happy.

1. Laundry. I really enjoy doing the laundry and am glad to have the whole day to get it all done today. Usually I have a schedule, but this week am so far off that I have yet to do a single load all week. (Most weeks, I've done 7 or 8 loads by this time. You can imagine the back-up.)

2. Nap-time. Not mine, sadly, but then, I don't nap well. Veronica does, however, and she takes a good nap every day. Charles doesn't nap, but he does have a 2-hour quiet time alone in his room - nice downtime and solo play time for him, excellent downtime for Mommy.

3. Snuggles. All my kids are enthusiastic cuddlers, and on days like today I get a lot of snuggles.

4. Hot coffee. Too sleepy this week to leave that off the list! I blame it on all these days Greyson keeps having off school, keeps me from getting used to the morning schedule. So hot coffee is very important to maintaining a certain level of comfort and alertness.

5. Books. Days when I don't have to be out rushing around, I get a little more time to sneak in a chapter here and there. Today I'm rereading Farmer Boy, which keeps me constantly hungry.

5 must-see holiday movies

Oh, I know. Everybody always has to list their favorite holiday movies. And yes, some of mine will be on everyone else's lists. But some won't be. I have to admit that no, I've never liked the Charlie Brown Christmas special; I didn't see what was so great about A Christmas Story once I finally got around to watching it at age 31; and I didn't grow up watching the Heat- and Cold-meisters, so I don't much get them either. What's left? Well, since you asked...

I give honorable mentions to the original How the Grinch Stole Christmas with Thurl Ravenscroft singing "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" and When Harry Met Sally - both excellent choices at the holidays, but not in my top 5.

5. Mixed Nuts. The all-star cast is great (Steve Martin, Rita Wilson, Madeline Kahn, Liev Shreiber before anyone knew who he was, etc.). I don't think there's more than one speaking character in the whole movie who isn't a household name right now. The story's a mix of zany with some nice holiday spirit, but it doesn't take itself (or Christmas) too seriously.

4. While You Were Sleeping. I'm still in love with Jack Callahan and his family. It's true. And yes, I'd also like to look like Sandra Bullock. (Who wouldn't?) Just such a lovely story about a lonely woman finding a family and becoming an important part of it.

3. White Christmas. Bing Crosby, Rosemary Clooney - need I say more? Really? I love the general, and the songs, and the comedy, and the overall message, and the love story. I do kind of get a tear in my eye at the end, when the general comes in wearing his uniform, and the soldiers pour out ... well, watch the movie yourself.

2. love actually. This one is growing on me - I like it better every time I watch it. Not all the stories are my favorite, but I find it overall to be really moving and a little bit magical.

1. Well, of course. Is there really any question? It's a Wonderful Life. Because it is.

Thanksgivings past

I'm feeling listy this week, so I'm going to be featuring a list of 5 things every day. At least, if I remember!

Today, it's a retrospective of memorable past Thanksgivings. Sadly, not all pleasurably memorable, but that's the way the proverbial cookie crumbles, isn't it?

1. T-Day 1989. It was my second visit home after starting boarding school, and my mother had invited all these weird people who were total strangers to me (and not much more than that to her) to come and have Thanksgiving with us. I wound up hiding most of the day, wishing it had just been the extended family and not a free-for-all.

2. T-Day 1996. I had brought my then-boyfriend, now-husband, home to meet the folks for the first time. (Thanks for staying with me after the trial by fire, honey!) My mother sulked (soaked?) most of the day, the dinner would have been ruined if Lou and I hadn't taken it over, and it was especially depressing when compared to holidays in previous years. :(

3. T-Day 2002. It was Greyson's first Thanksgiving! If I recall correctly, he ate like a king - mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, and yummy jars of strained peas. Lou's parents were with us, as was Mark, and good food and fun were had by all. (At age 6, I may add, Mr. Greyson doesn't think much of Thanksgiving, since it's all about food. He'll learn!)

4. T-Day 2004. It was in the midst of a month full of random blackouts, and Thanksgiving Day was no exception. The power went out just before we sat down to eat, although thankfully after we had finished cooking the turkey! So we ate Thanksgiving dinner by candlelight in the breakfast nook at the house in Beverly.

5. T-Day 2000. We were in Italy, on our belated honeymoon, and I was carrying Matthew. On Thanksgiving Day, we did some shopping in Rome, then stopped to eat at this little restaurant (I'm pretty sure I had some darn tasty ravioli). We were serenaded by an Italian band that didn't entirely suck, and sat next to a family with two or three medium-size boys (9 or 10ish in age) who were spending their Thanksgiving holiday in Europe. They seemed really happy and emblematic of what we were looking forward to, and we were really happy in Italy together.

And now I'm really hungry and want some mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, and pumpkin pie. Maybe some pecan pie, too. With lots of Cool Whip!

from a table near you

The other day, I gave you a look from the windows above my desk. Today, a look from my 'second desk', otherwise known as the dining room table! These are 5 things I can see ...

1. A plastic playground ball. Veronica bought it one day last summer - she was very decisive that the ball was what she wanted. I try to keep it on the back porch, but mostly it drifts around the back yard like a tumbling tumbleweed.

2. A big black iron bell. It's mounted to the porch railing. I bought it last fall before we moved in, and put it on the back porch so I can ring it whenever the kids are playing out of sight and need to come in. It works pretty well! It doesn't ring during storms, though.

3. Strawberry beds. The squirrels and chipmunks got most of our fruit this year, but the plants grew well, so we're hoping for a good yield next year. The blueberry plants farther down the row flourished, and will hopefully fruit next summer. At the end of the row, I can't quite see the two cranberry bushes (they're very small). They did well last summer also, and produced two cranberries, but they were eaten off the vine because I was in North Carolina when they ripened. I was highly bummed.

4. A big tumbly rock wall. As I drove around here the summer before last, looking at houses, I kept hoping for a house with a rock wall - this one has several. The one across the back yard is filled with big boulders stacked up in varying heights.

5. A crazy girl with crazy hair, wearing a purple and gray Minnesota Vikings outfit, playing baseball all by herself.

the latest thing

I know it's been a while - at least a month - since I attempted to come up with a way to organize my time. And they tend to be short-lived. But the last month has convinced me that something new needs to be attempted, because my days are getting busier and I'm trying to add more things to them. It's my intention to make both running and writing a near-daily thing, and my kids are adding activities and needing to have playdates and things set up on a more regular basis. (Both the older two are displaying signs of inadequate socialization with their peers ... a familiar issue to me, and one that I hadn't been intending to pass on.)

At any rate, given all the things above, I'm trying to come up with a new, more workable and sustainable, system. It has become clear to me that I need to make it a list-based system. I can't do without my lists! I'm also abandoning my old system of randomization (it's complicated - let's just say that once you've memorized which 'random' location you're going to land on, it's not so random anymore ... and it's kind of pathetic to cheat your own systems!), and using dice instead. Lou convinced me to get some dice, back when we were playing D&D more regularly, and I have these lovely copper dice. They ought to be good.

So I figure, I go with a list-based system, make new lists every day - which I do anyway - and then have a set of base daily tasks and a checklist of weekly tasks. Plus, if I'm using a 20-sided die as my maximum, I can't have more than 20 items on the list, so it'll keep me from overloading myself and hopefully help me feel less overwhelmed and frustrated. I think a new notebook for list-making is in order, so I can keep them all in one place.

We'll see how it goes, anyway. It's something new, at least.

from a desk near you

Yes, I'm glad all the political commentary has passed by, too. Glad to know you're with me. It's been a hectic couple of weeks, and I've got a fair amount on my mind today, both good and bad, so in the interest of ignoring all of it, I bring you: 5 things I can see from my desk chair today.

1. A holly bush. This is a particularly lovely specimen, all deep green and tall ... and it must go. You see, in the spring when the holly bushes are in bloom, they attract hundreds and hundreds of bees (at least, it seems like that many). And when one actually enjoys using one's front door, and has holly bushes flanking said door ... well, you can see why they have to go. Bees and leisurely front-step sitting do not mix. I have to figure out how best to get rid of them, though.

2. The reflection of Baby Marvin and Baby Daffy the kids are watching Baby Looney Tunes, and I'm keeping an eye on it, backwards, as reflected in the window above me. Oh, that Daffy!

3. Trees, trees, and more trees. We are lucky enough to have a tree-lined driveway, and a tree-lined front yard. There are a lot of leaves, but on the bright side, it's so many leaves that there's really nothing you can do about them but enjoy them ... and on the even brighter side, all our neighbors are in the same boat! Not a lot of leaf collection in this neighborhood, other than the natural kind produced by drift.

4. A half-eaten pumpkin. The squirrels got to one of the pumpkins I so festively arranged on the stairs, then left their half-finished meal on my front walkway, the slobs! So I learned a valuable lesson - never kick a pumpkin, even a half-eaten one, as I kicked it off the walk and onto the grass and spent the next half hour limping. (They're really hard.)

5. Headlights! Lou's dad is back from his odyssey to the grocery store, purveyor of lobsters and clams, for his final New England meal before he heads back to the Northwest tomorrow. I suppose I should go see what else he picked up.

More books to come, and maybe some commentary on various topics. I'm sure you're all dying to hear about the status of my perennial organizational crisis...

book reviews!

I just finished three of my chapter-by-chapter books, so I'm pretty happy. I'm now onto my book group's current selection, which I have to admit I'm less thrilled about, so my rate is likely to slow down some.

Anne Perry, Death in the Devil's Acre. This one wasn't bad, but I can't say I was wild about the choice of killer, and the denouement was a bit rushed. Plus, I have to admit I like a mystery with a good wrap-up, and several of the Perrys I've read recently have ended quite abruptly.

Ditto, Cardington Crescent. I liked this one particularly because very little of it was from Pitt's perspective. It was refreshing to watch the mystery unfold through many different voices, and interesting to see a murder approach the main characters personally. (Yes, it did so in the first book as well, but I thought that subplot got short shrift amongst everything else that was going on.) I was dissatisfied with the ending - Perry likes to let her readers infer a great many things, but doesn't always drop the required number of implications for real understanding of what she's getting at. And, again, it was quite abrupt. I think what really bothers me about the abruptness is that I would like to see at least Thomas and Charlotte come together at the end and give each other (and the reader) some closure on what happened next to the other characters and how they felt about the case and its resolution.

Thomas Fleming, Washington's Secret War. I confess, I was surprised to discover, when I was about halfway through the book, that Fleming is quite a prominent historian. That's not what I would have expected from the book. I found it a bit disjointed, histrionic in places (does Washington's reputation really need to be defended that strenuously?), and both too detailed and not detailed enough, depending on your level of interest. I'm not keeping it, as I don't think it added much to my general knowledge of the era. (Interestingly, I've just added Fleming's West Point, an overview of that institution's effect on the officers who fought in the Civil War, to my regular book stack. I hope I like it better.)

Jane Finnis, Get Out or Die. A delightful surprise! I read Finnis's multiauthor blog, The Lady Killers, regularly, and was hoping to like this, her inaugural book. I was surprised to really love it. Her writing really brought the era of Roman Britain to life in a vivid and interesting way, her characters are multidimensional and not stereotyped too much, her main character's romance unfolded in a refreshingly straightforward manner, and the plot was interesting, historically salient, and unfolded well. Overall, I was very, very pleased and will be acquiring the rest of the series post-haste.

More reviews tomorrow. Yay!

one more thought on politics

And I promise I'll be all done with the topic!

I just like to promote the idea of the write-in vote. Last election year, I chose to write in a candidate I really believed in, rather than support either of the options the two main parties and the money behind them chose to shove in my face. Neither candidate seemed to me like a good choice for our highest office. Lou thought I was throwing away my vote - after all, my candidate had no chance of being elected. (Of course, he generally feels that any vote in Massachusetts is thrown away, since we're a solidly Democratic state, and he thinks his vote, whether it agrees with the rest of the state or not, is lost in the multitude.) Personally, I disagree. I think the voting process is there so the American citizenry can make their feelings known, and I dislike the way we tend, like sheep, to accept the preselection of candidates by the moneyed and politically powerful. I would rather vote for someone I actually have confidence in, but who will not be elected, than vote for someone I think is a bad choice. To me, that's the use my one small vote is best put to - sending a message that I have the freedom to think and choose for myself. Even if no one ever gets it, at least the message is out there.

Vote faithfully ... and then try not to talk about it!

political opinions

You may notice the political season has come and (nearly, thankfully) gone without any notice of it here. (Yes, I also realize it's been pretty quiet around here recently - this is what two birthdays, a major holiday, and many visiting relatives will do to an occasional blogger. And yes, when one has three children in preschool/grade school, Halloween is a major holiday.) But back to politics. Over the years, I've been through many stages of guilt over my lack of interest. I've finally come to this: I find politics staggeringly tedious. I simply can't focus on the issues long enough to develop a thoroughly well researched and thought out opinion. (There's a whole separate issue on the lack of trustworthiness in the news resources and my unwillingness to go hunting for the real truth. Someday I'll summon up enough moral outrage to complain about it here.) So I try to avoid political discussions, since I don't much see the point in getting worked up over it - I'm not about to run out and try to change it, after all.

That said, I have a couple of thoughts about this year's political season, and feel the need to write them down.

Firstly, it seems like many of the issues at stake are about change (and chance). To stick with the Republican party line, or take a chance on a new regime? Here in Massachusetts, do we keep the state income tax and trust that the status quo is going to somehow take care of our schools, or do we take the chance that localizing the money flow is going to channel more of it where it belongs? Personally, I'm on the side of change. Since the current system, in both cases, doesn't seem to be working out that well, I can't see how more of the same would be a good choice.

Secondly, I think I would be afraid to be a citizen of this country under Sarah Palin's leadership. Most of what I've heard her say sounds dogmatic and judgmental, and since I suspect I don't agree with her in many areas, she'd probably consider me less American than she is. I don't trust her to have the best interests of the entire country at heart. Or even to give lip service to it.

Thirdly, I do feel like this election season has opened a few doors in the American electoral process. If I were a woman and/or a non-Caucasian, I'd be looking forward to a much brighter future ahead - I think this campaign season has demonstrated that the 21st century is a place where politics is no longer dominated by white men past retirement age. Hallelujah. It's about time.

Mostly, though, I have to admit - I am sick, sick, sick of politics. I'm trying to hold on to a little bit of interest through Tuesday, but the partisan sniping, the speculations, the last-ditch efforts at discreditation, the overall divisiveness - it's unhealthy for the country in general and is not what we need to achieve lasting positive change. I look forward to the end, the final decision, and just getting it over with, so we can all get on with our lives.