the final four (book reviews of the year, that is)

I've finished almost all the books I had on tap - only two have to be reshuffled back into the general population. Not bad, all things considered. I'll have nearly 190 books on the TBR shelves for the year, so it will be another no-book-buying year. Hopefully it will also be a year in which I can unpack all my books and reorganize them on the shelves ... I suspect the unpacking will cause a huge backlog of books to be reread as each old friend appears.

At any rate, four more books to be reviewed before the end of the year ...

Brenda Little, Encyclopedia of Vegetable Gardening. A nice reference, with handy 1- to 4-page entries on all sorts of different kinds of vegetables and herbs, including tips on storing and serving. Well worth having handy on the shelf.

James Fenimore Cooper, The Deerslayer. I tried reading this before, and was daunted by the early chapters. This time I made it through (and yes, enjoyed) the whole book ... but overall I find it to be not a keeper. In particular, because the character and sentiments of Deerslayer himself are so very dated, and not in a good way.

Christopher Lee, 1603. This one started off well, I thought I was going to enjoy it, but then lost it somewhere. Firstly, it might as well have been titled James I: The First Year of His Reign, or something like that. Yes, I'm sure James I was an important character in 1603, but the entire book was filtered through how the events of the year affected James and vice versa. Plus, it felt disorganized and a bit rambly. Not worth it at all.

Paul G. Bahn, 100 Great Archaeological Discoveries. A page-by-page guide to great archaeology around the world, with lots of wonderful pictures. Interesting, fun, an easy bit of reference if you ever needed to refer to archaological info, and has entertained pretty much the entire family, most of whom have picked it up and leafed through it at some point in the last couple of weeks. A 'way' keeper, to quote Miss Veronica.

And there we are! Another year's worth of reading - my book database is at 1147 volumes and counting. Seriously, my next house is going to have to have a separate building for all the books.

Happy New Year and happy reading!

resolution time

Okay, it's only December 30th ... but I have a moment, and really, what difference does two days really make? Unless life as we know it ceases to exist, and then I suspect my New Year's resolutions won't seem so important, even to me.

Last year my resolutions were to focus on improving intimate relations with my wonderful husband, and to have a manuscript packaged and ready to submit. As you might think, neither of them actually occurred. However, I think in both cases progress has been made, which frankly is about the best you can expect from a resolution.

This year, again, I have two goals that seem paramount:

Resolution #1: Complete a manuscript and submit it to agents.

Resolution #2: Get back in the running habit, specifically aiming for 2.5 miles a day, 5 days a week.

There are other, more minor goals as well, such as

- care taken with diet
- paying more attention to spending
- continuing to work on being more even-tempered and generally more pleasant
- playing with my kids more and yelling at them less
- spending more quality time with my wonderful husband

But from a personal development standpoint, running and writing seem the most important items to focus on.

I look forward to 2009 being my best year ever - Excelsior!

a year in blogging

Firstly, I'd like to celebrate - this is the first year the blog has had more than 100 posts in it. Woohoo!

Secondly, I'm going to retrospect. The following are the first sentence from the blog for each month of this year.

January: Alas, our boy is growing up.

February: Just an update, really.

March: I find it fascinating to watch my three kids interact and wonder what their relationships with each other will be like when they get older.

April: Whew!

May: A mom on a bulletin board I read asked about balance in the day - how to juggle all the things that need to be done and still have time for your own projects.

June: I am obsessed with houses.

July: I think I need to move a bookmark to this page into my blog folder, so I'll hit it on my way up the list every day.

August: Back from the second trip.

September: Technically, I had a nearly 5-day weekend - my better half was off Friday afternoon, and had to come home yesterday to help with the kids.

October: It may well be slow blogging month!

November: You may notice the political season has come and (nearly, thankfully) gone without any notice of it here.

December: I'm feeling remarkably on the ball this holiday season ... I'm not entirely sure why.

Taken all together, these sentences remind me that it was a busy, happy year filled with family fun but during which I managed to work toward my own goals. Looking forward to another year filled with more of the same.

book reviews

Here we are in the mid-holiday chaos. Due to late-arriving relatives, we have yet to have the full free-for-all. The kids continue with a present a day, and the parents have gotten to rip the paper off a few. (Mommy received two pairs of earrings, carefully chosen by her boys, and the almost-perfect robe, carefully chosen by the biggest and best of her boys.) Santa did extra-good this year - Greyson has been glued to Lego Batman on the Wii nearly constantly, Charles went cuckoo for his Lego castle (or, as he calls it, the "$114 toy"), and Veronica shrieked with delight when she saw her Playmobil dollhouse. They each also got a new Looney Tunes ornament and a game from Daddy. Very exciting so far. What's left? I confess, I can't entirely remember.

Meanwhile, I've been pushing through on the last seven books I'm trying to finish before New Year's Day. (Don't get too excited - the TBR shelf still numbers about 185.) I just finished one (while playing Order Up! on the Wii, which has proven to be another of Santa's hits), so 6 to go. I might finish two of them, at the rate things are going.

So without further ado:

William C. Davis & Joseph G. Rosa, The West. This is a lovely coffee-table book with a comprehensive and well-illustrated overview of the history of the American West. Davis is one of my favorite historians, and the book is an extremely good reference.

Oscar Wilde, The Essays of Oscar Wilde. Pretty hit-or-miss, but interesting overall. It's part of a set - with beautiful gold-stamped leather covers - and therefore worth keeping.

Anne Perry, Bluegate Fields. Nice story, good characters, decent plot ... a solid entry.

Charles Heath, The A-Team 4: Old Scores to Settle. Yes, you read that right: a novelization of the A-Team. Also, the 4th novelization. It was quite enjoyable ... although I grant you, not as good as the first one.

a moment of quiet

Right now, I'm sitting here in the living room, bathed in the white light of the snow-covered land outside. (You know the kind of light I mean - the one you wake up to in the morning and your whole being smiles and thinks "Snow Day!!") Downstairs the saw is going as my father-in-law cuts wood for some basement-related project or other. Outside, my better (?) half is on his way to work, hopefully to return sometime before bedtime. Upstairs, my two boys are engaged in a serious battle of good vs. evil, in which characters from many different universes are engaged. My little girl is 'helping' her Grandma get dressed.

So here I am all alone in my living room ... which begs the question: Why am I watching Sesame Street?! (Answer: I'm too lazy to get up and look for the remote.)

In present updates: Monday, there were none given out, as my children did not behave in such a way as to deserve them.

Last night, however, presents were had:

My Charles got a look-and-find book from all over the world. Unfortunately for him, Mommy was so entranced by the concept that she forgot to look inside, and it turns out the book won't be much use to him until he can read. Er, motivation, right?

Miss Veronica got a big Dora doll to dress up. (As usual, she bears so little resemblance to the cartoon that Veronica didn't even recognize her. How hard is it, I ask you, to make merchandise that resembles a cartoon?) Veronica was pretty pleased, though.

Greyson got a big, elaborate book, Mythology. He had asked me to buy it for him when I was working the book fair at his school, I said "Oh, I don't know, it's so expensive", and then as soon as he was on his way to class I bought it for him for Christmas. The reaction was well worth the subterfuge.

Tonight there will be more gifts. There is a stack of 7 books sitting on the table that I am trying to get through before midnight on December 31.

And that's the state of my world in this moment that would be quiet if I could only find the remote!

an old-fashioned Christmas

I think that's a term that covers a huge number of concepts. In my case, this old-fashioned Christmas is made up of several things:

- constant snow. The world is lovely and hushed and white with the new-fallen (and -falling) snow.
- lots and lots of good food. No diets here, and happy to say it!
- lots and lots and lots of presents. Mommy and Grandma both went a bit overboard this year, and we don't apologize for it. As they get older, they're going to get harder, less fun, and more expensive to buy for. I'm enjoying every piece of plastic.
- the golden light inside, the white light outside, the cheery plastic snowmen smiling outside and the colorful Christmas lights and decorations inside.

That's my old-fashioned Christmas, and I'm loving it so far! We've already done some present-opening (see above and the overboard!).

Friday, with the blizzard, the boys each got a wooden 3D animal puzzle - a bear and a wolf - and Veronica got a magnetic wooden dress-up princess doll.

Saturday, Veronica got a Hawkgirl action figure, Greyson got really nice Prince Caspian and Peter Pevensie figures, and Charles got Peepiceek the mouse, Glenstorm the centaur, Mentius the faun, and somebody-or-other the minotaur. He nearly burst with joy, he was so, so happy.

This morning, the boys got Vikings shirts and Veronica got a purple sand-stuffed snake. Veronica was quite happy (as I knew she would be), and Charles was quite unhappy, having wanted more toys. Little does he know what is yet to come ....

book reviews

Further adventures in reading. :)

Anne Perry, Bethlehem Road. This one was pretty good, I thought, although it also seemed that a lot of the side plots got left behind unfinished. Perhaps because there were too many? But I liked the plot and found it an enjoyable read. (One thing I am noticing, though, is that Perry's style is a little too ... overwrought? for sustained reading. I couldn't take a stack of her books to a desert island without throwing a few of them in the ocean. They're much better taken one at a time interspersed with other books.)

Thomas Fleming, West Point Blue and Gray. If you'll recall, after I expressed my disappointment with Washington's Secret War, I was worried about whether I would like this one. Turns out, it's quite a good read. It's a fairly brief overview, but he makes his points concisely, illustrates them with anecdotes - including several that are fairly little-known - and overall contributes a solid piece of scholarship that is broad enough in scope to be an excellent reference.

MacKinlay Kantor, The Guntoter. I was fairly impressed with Kantor's Andersonville, and if anything, I liked this book of short stories a little better. They all take place within the same community and they really illustrated the richness of that community. Simple stories, simple people, but there's still a huge complexity to their lives.

Maggi McCormick Gordon, The Book of Home Sewing. An excellent all-purpose sewing guide, no question about it. And well worth keeping around for reference. But sadly, I've had to accept that sewing is one of those things I'd very much like to think I would enjoy and in fact have found I don't have that much interest in or aptitude for. Once you've shopped for the fabric, you're pretty much done with the part I find enjoyable. Nonetheless, it's a good book and well worth keeping just in case.

book reviews

Doing a big push this month to clear as much of the TBR shelf as I can.

Sterling North, Rascal. I've read this one over and over again. It's a simple story of a young boy who adopts a raccoon as a pet during the last year of World War I. Well-written, touching, funny ... well worth reading over and over again.

Wilkie Collins, The Woman in White. I love Collins, and this one is a good one. (As a side note, Lou and I saw the musical in London a few years back, and while the character of Count Fosco was remarkably well-done, the character of Marian was atrociously badly served. One of the great female characters of British literature reduced to a simpering love-addled idiot. For shame, Andrew Lloyd Webber!) Intricate plot, good characters, good solid book.

Farley Mowat, The Boat Who Wouldn't Float. Mowat's a good and funny writer, and the book is a solid entry in his bibliography.

Rose Wilder Lane, Free Land. The story (by Laura Ingalls Wilder's daughter) reads like a catalog of events from LIW's works. It's well done, the story is told reasonably ... but I have to admit that something about RWL's writing leaves me cold. Her mother's is warm and personal and her characters are real people you can love, but RWL's characters are somehow not as lovable or memorable.

let there be lights!

After a day and a half of no power, it is a tremendous luxury to be sitting here with my computer on my lap, the heat burbling through the baseboards, the fish happy with heater and filter, Scooby-Doo playing in one room while the boys play Wii in the other. I had a hot shower, hot coffee, and pancakes out of a refrigerator that is actually keeping things cold. The washer and dryer are back in use, which is a good thing because I have nothing to wear! My children all slept in their own beds with their night-lights on, and my alarm clock went off this morning. (All right, so that wasn't really a luxury!)

What's my point? Well, I like electricity and the things it runs. The past is fun to read and write about, but I wouldn't want to live there. And I am really, really grateful for, among other things, living in New England where this kind of thing doesn't happen very often.

book reviews

Doing a big push before the end of the year!

J.R.R. Tolkien, The Two Towers. My second reading of the second book - I enjoyed it quite a bit, but I always wish the two parts were reversed. I really find most of Frodo's adventures tedious, and the rest of them do far more interesting things. But overall it's quite an enjoyable series. I'm sorry I didn't get to it sooner!

Henry Reed Stiles, Bundling: Its Origin, Progress & Decline in America. 'Bundling', of course, is the practice of couples to court while lying in bed together. The treatise (written in 1872) doesn't cover the subject as thoroughly as I had hoped. Mostly, it's made up of attempts to find proof of the practice's existence, coy winks at the practice, and various peoples denial that the practice ever occurred amongst them. Not really all that satisfying.

Anne Rivers Siddons, Downtown. I kind of gave up on Siddons at the end of the '90s - she got a little repetitive and sensationalistic for me - but when she was on, her books were compulsively readable, her characters interesting, her plots certainly colorful. Downtown is one of those.

Vivian Schurfranz, Danielle. This is part of the Sunfire series that came out for teen readers when I was one. Laugh if you will - at the time I had the whole series (it was a series set in various points in American history, of course I did). And many of the books still hold up to rereading. This, however, was not one of them. Overwritten, entirely too many superlatives ... not at all worth rereading.

awww, my boy

My big blond boy is turning into quite the kid.

Last summer, he turned a major corner on the road to reading. We'd been giving him little books to read, the super-easy variety, and he mostly took it as a chore, finishing them dutifully so he could play his favorite computer games. Then we gave him a little book called Sam the Minuteman (yes, I may have mentioned all this before - I'm getting on in years, you know), and everything changed. Apparently, Greyson learned from Sam that books actually contain fun and interesting stories ... and learned it so well that on his Thanksgiving turkey this year, he wrote that he was most thankful for "my books" and "my family". I'm just glad the rest of us made the list!

Yesterday we were decorating the tree. Mommy took a back seat this year - I unwrapped the ornaments and handed them to my boys, who then hung them on the tree. I even managed not to micromanage the ornament placement! After a while, Greyson disappeared upstairs into his room. I thought he was making his own ornament. But instead, he came back downstairs with a piece of homemade wrapping paper wrapped around ... Sam the Minuteman, with a tag already made out to Charles. All on his own idea, gave his favorite book to his brother. My wonderful boy.

what a waste

My mother was an extraordinary woman. She sparkled. She was witty, and smart, and articulate, and she loved and hated with fierce passion. You could walk into a room and listen closely, and hers would be the voice that emerged from a crowd. (And not necessarily in an obnoxious way.) People were drawn to her, and once drawn, they stayed. Even in the later years, as the alcohol problem grew and began to take over her life and personality, people came into her circle and stayed there. She had a warmth and an attraction that are rare among people.

And she threw it all away because of an addiction to alcohol.

Alcohol is a dangerous drug - more dangerous than others because it's supposed to be "okay". It kills people. It kills families. I don't say there ought to be a law ... but there ought to be universal disapproval of people who abuse alcohol, people who drink to drunkenness (or tipsiness, frankly) in front of children - and certainly harsh penalties for every person who tries to drive a car after drinking.

I wish my children could meet her. I wish I understood why she chose it. I wish she had seen herself clearly enough to know that she was something to live for.

holiday prep

I'm feeling remarkably on the ball this holiday season ... I'm not entirely sure why. Possibly because my in-laws will be back on the 16th and I want to get a lot of my holiday work done before they get here? Possibly because I only have one journal in right now and I want to have the holidays well taken care of before the next wave comes in? Possibly because I'm so relieved to not be moving and unpacking this year? Surely some combo of all three, plus something else entirely.

At any rate, I've finished the largest part of my Christmas shopping (actually, as a matter of fact, I think I've finished ALL my Christmas shopping); I have a shelf full of wrapped presents (not all of them are wrapped, but a decent amount); I'm about halfway through the prep, addressing, and mailing of Christmas cards. Lou not only added to my collection of outdoor decorations, but has started putting them up. About the only thing we haven't done yet is work on the indoor decorations ... although we have figured out where to put the tree this year, which is a relief. (Last year we had it in the hallway in front of the front door ... but having spent the larger part of this year trying to train the UPS guys who come here every day thanks to Lou and his girlfriend Amazon.com to leave the boxes at the front door, I'm not about to lose the use of it during the Christmas season.) Still have to figure out where to get the tree from. We aren't quite sure where the best place is to buy one from, and we have quite a few junipers in the easement area, so we could use one of those if we wanted.

I'm looking forward to the rest of the Christmas season. I anticipate a flurry of paper at present-opening time, some lovely snow (can't forget it, especially while watching Bing, Rosie, Danny, and Vera-Ellen singing about it on DVD right now), lots and lots of good food, teaching the kids some Christmas carols, watching all my favorite Christmas movies ...

Merry Christmas to all! (Or whatever gift-themed winter holiday you may celebrate.)

5 things I like about my husband

I thought about writing this entry yesterday ... even before he went shopping on Black Friday without me and I needed the reminders. (Although, I grant you, he went to Walmart, one place I would never want to go, day after Thanksgiving or not, so I'm less annoyed than if he went to, say, Target. Or the mall.)

1. He likes to shop. Since I like to shop as well, this means we're rarely at a loss for something to do when we go out, and I don't get half the flak that most women get about shopping.

2. When you ask him a question, he knows the answer ... or a reasonable facsimile of one! It's one of his most entrancing (entertaining, impressive) traits - he's interested in everything, and wants to learn about it. He considers pretty much everything to be his 'area of expertise', and is often right.

3. He's handy. Much as the constant pressure he puts himself under to finish household projects may annoy me, it's a huge comfort to know that he can fix pretty much anything.

4. He's a really good Daddy. I love to watch him playing with the kids, or listen to him doing math problems with the boys. He's a natural!

5. He's hot. :)

thankful

It's downright obligatory to be thankful today, and of course I have to make a list. So, here are the five things happening in my house right now that I'm thankful for:

1. Lou is brining the turkey. I am tremendously thankful to have a husband who is a good, and willing cook, and happy to take on the task of preparing Thanksgiving dinner.

2. Veronica is taking a nap. It has taken me a lot of hard work and obstinacy to hold onto my kids' naps, and I am quite proud of myself that Greyson napped until he was 5 and a half and Charles until he was almost 5 (still does, some afternoons when he has his quiet time), and that Veronica gets her temperament refreshed regularly every day.

3. The weather is lovely and temperate. Yes, I live in New England by choice and love it, but I'm not such a fan of cold weather. I don't much look forward to the temperature dipping into "Oh, my God, it's cold!" and staying there, so the longer it holds off the happier I am.

4. Greyson and Charles are playing chess with Mark. Not sure if I'm grateful that the kids have an uncle who likes to play board games with them; that they're both so big and getting to be good game players; or that they're quiet and entertained and not asking me for something. Or maybe all three!

5. It's just us for Thanksgiving. Over the years, I have been through many bouts of longing for a big, happy family who loved to get together over the holidays. And yes, after four years I can now occasionally say that I miss my mom. Also, I continue to feel hurt and angry with my remaining family because none of them make the slightest effort to be part of my life or my children's lives. But right now, I kind of like that it can be a nice, quiet Thanksgiving day, hanging out, relaxing, and no added stress or family drama.

Page 56

Today I give you "page 56", which seems to be sweeping Facebook. Take the book nearest you, turn to page 56, and write down the 5th sentence. Just because I think it's fun, I give you now "page 56" for every book I'm in the middle of right now. Should be interesting!

"Almanzo was very hungry."

"He strode forward, but the old man was gone."

"He must have gone no more than a few feet from it."

"It was the first piece of Paleolithic art ever found by someone with a knowledge of stratigraphy and human antiquity."

"The education system, for example, was surprisingly good."

"He did this so effectively that the royal Spanish fleet refused to face him in open battle and remained bottled up in its home harbors for more than a year."

"The ladies, una voce, bawled out, 'Your informants, sir, we conclude, are those city ladies who prefer a sofa to a bed: we advise you to alter your sermon, by substituting the word sofa for bundling, and on your return home preach it to them, for experience has told us that city folks send more children into the country without fathers or mothers to own them, than are born among us; therefore, you see, a sofa is more dangerous than a bed.'"

"''Tis soon told, as I said afore; and shall be honestly told.'"

"The carrots we grow today originated in the Mediterranean."

"And then I caught my breath, and they must have caught theirs."

"He was also put under arrest so he cannot leave his room for a month; all this for not going to church."

"'That gate,' said the under-gardener, turning with great deliberation towards the south, and embracing the whole of that part of England with one comprehensive sweep of his arm."

"Upon the other hand, the terrible truth that pain is a mode through which man may realise himself exercised a wonderful fascination over the world."

"This day came ye out in the month Abib."

"The bottom photo (b) shows the site being excavated."

"One is to dig out any woody plants and then cut out all the herbaceous ones close to the ground with a mower, brush cutter, string trimmer, or with a hand tool such as a sickle or scythe."

"When they reached the top they saw that it was a very small island, not more than twenty acres; and from this height the sea looked larger and more desolate than it did from the deck, or even the fighting top, of the Dawn Treader."

(Clearly, I'm reading a few too many books at a time!)

book reviews

Even more of 'em! Yay!

Anne Perry, Silence in Hanover Close. Not bad. Shook things up a bit, giving some of the regulars more to do and others less. The plot was interesting, if the basis for it was a little shaky.

L. M. Montgomery, The Blue Castle. Really good. Loved the plot, the main character, the overall theme. I hadn't expected it to be so good, and was delighted with it.

Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin, Three Cups of Tea. This was my book group's latest choice. Can't say I loved it, really. I thought the writing was good and displayed a real passion for the subject, and it's rarely a chore to read a book whose author loved it. And it's undeniable that the guy is doing good work at great personal sacrifice ... but I wasn't wild about the protagonist, who I thought had a lot of real trouble living in two worlds and didn't always do justice to either one; and I got very tired of the tales of peril, lost in the Middle East with no way to contact the people at home who loved him, usually just because he had jumped into a situation with both feet and his eyes firmly closed. Overall, I didn't mind reading it, but I won't be keeping it.

Charles Mackay, Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds. This one was a little disappointing to me. I had hoped for more, I guess. That said, it's a book chock-full of examples of mass stupidity ... but it's highly overwritten and very dense. It was an interesting read, but not a keeper.

book reviews

I have quite the stack of finished books! As we're getting closer to the end of the year, I'm quite excited - I intend to reshuffle all my TBR books and shake up the stacks a bit, and to acquire several new books. (Yes, 2009 is going to have to be another year of little-to-no book purchasing, as the dent I've made in my TBR stack is sizeable but not big enough.)

Cynthia Peale, The White Crow. Peale writes a series set in Victorian Boston. I quite like it. They're not amazingly written, but they're solid and interesting, with good characters.

Louis L'Amour, The Man from Skibbereen. Just when you thought Mr. L only had one type of protagonist! This guy is straight off the boat from Ireland, stumbles into a dangerous situation basically through being a dope, and needs to go from there to being a competent westerner very fast. Very fun.

Steven E. Woodworth, Nothing But Victory. This overview of the Army of the Tennessee, from birth to dissolution, is nothing short of masterful. If I had a complaint, it would be that the end of the war with the men going home is too short, without enough detail. Other than that, the book was enjoyably readable, firmly conveyed its author's passion for his subject without being too over-the-top, and overall made for excellent pleasure reading in addition to being a fine, solid addition to the research library.

Charles C. Mann, 1491. Loved this book. The basic theory of the book is that it's an overview of the native cultures the year before Columbus arrived in the Americas. The author doesn't shy away from controversial claims, and in fact embraces them, although he does a good job of making the reader aware that not everyone agrees with him. I found it to be a fascinating book, filled with ideas that were new to me, and consider it not only well worth reading, but also well worth recommending.

addendum to the holiday movies

I can't believe I forgot to mention The Ref in my list of must-see holiday films. This one's a special must, I think, for anyone who expects the holidays to be all silent nights and joy to the world. Because we all tend to put ourselves under so much pressure to be merry throughout the season, and to spend every moment appreciating what we have. But the holiday season also is a time when we are reminded of the absence of people and times that we loved; when we are surrounded by people we don't always get along with; when our houses are in an uproar, with presents and decorations creating extra clutter and organizational issues; when we worry about money, materialism, and the messages we send when we choose gifts; and when we tend to put our lives under a microscope and every flaw we see looks completely disfiguring.

For all of that, I love the holidays. I've been singing carols for six weeks, trying to figure out maximum placement for the tree, holding myself back from putting out the decorations in order not to drown the rest of the house in sugarplums. I just like to keep a certain amount of perspective in the midst of my blissful Dickensian haze!

5 things that make me happy today

Sorry I missed my list yesterday. I could give you 5 reasons I didn't have a chance to blog, but really all it takes is three. Children, that is. They had me hopping from pillar to post yesterday. Today is much better, with absolutely nothing on the calendar. These are days that are becoming more and more rare. So today, with the whole day spreading before me unscheduled, these are the things that make me happy.

1. Laundry. I really enjoy doing the laundry and am glad to have the whole day to get it all done today. Usually I have a schedule, but this week am so far off that I have yet to do a single load all week. (Most weeks, I've done 7 or 8 loads by this time. You can imagine the back-up.)

2. Nap-time. Not mine, sadly, but then, I don't nap well. Veronica does, however, and she takes a good nap every day. Charles doesn't nap, but he does have a 2-hour quiet time alone in his room - nice downtime and solo play time for him, excellent downtime for Mommy.

3. Snuggles. All my kids are enthusiastic cuddlers, and on days like today I get a lot of snuggles.

4. Hot coffee. Too sleepy this week to leave that off the list! I blame it on all these days Greyson keeps having off school, keeps me from getting used to the morning schedule. So hot coffee is very important to maintaining a certain level of comfort and alertness.

5. Books. Days when I don't have to be out rushing around, I get a little more time to sneak in a chapter here and there. Today I'm rereading Farmer Boy, which keeps me constantly hungry.

5 must-see holiday movies

Oh, I know. Everybody always has to list their favorite holiday movies. And yes, some of mine will be on everyone else's lists. But some won't be. I have to admit that no, I've never liked the Charlie Brown Christmas special; I didn't see what was so great about A Christmas Story once I finally got around to watching it at age 31; and I didn't grow up watching the Heat- and Cold-meisters, so I don't much get them either. What's left? Well, since you asked...

I give honorable mentions to the original How the Grinch Stole Christmas with Thurl Ravenscroft singing "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" and When Harry Met Sally - both excellent choices at the holidays, but not in my top 5.

5. Mixed Nuts. The all-star cast is great (Steve Martin, Rita Wilson, Madeline Kahn, Liev Shreiber before anyone knew who he was, etc.). I don't think there's more than one speaking character in the whole movie who isn't a household name right now. The story's a mix of zany with some nice holiday spirit, but it doesn't take itself (or Christmas) too seriously.

4. While You Were Sleeping. I'm still in love with Jack Callahan and his family. It's true. And yes, I'd also like to look like Sandra Bullock. (Who wouldn't?) Just such a lovely story about a lonely woman finding a family and becoming an important part of it.

3. White Christmas. Bing Crosby, Rosemary Clooney - need I say more? Really? I love the general, and the songs, and the comedy, and the overall message, and the love story. I do kind of get a tear in my eye at the end, when the general comes in wearing his uniform, and the soldiers pour out ... well, watch the movie yourself.

2. love actually. This one is growing on me - I like it better every time I watch it. Not all the stories are my favorite, but I find it overall to be really moving and a little bit magical.

1. Well, of course. Is there really any question? It's a Wonderful Life. Because it is.

Thanksgivings past

I'm feeling listy this week, so I'm going to be featuring a list of 5 things every day. At least, if I remember!

Today, it's a retrospective of memorable past Thanksgivings. Sadly, not all pleasurably memorable, but that's the way the proverbial cookie crumbles, isn't it?

1. T-Day 1989. It was my second visit home after starting boarding school, and my mother had invited all these weird people who were total strangers to me (and not much more than that to her) to come and have Thanksgiving with us. I wound up hiding most of the day, wishing it had just been the extended family and not a free-for-all.

2. T-Day 1996. I had brought my then-boyfriend, now-husband, home to meet the folks for the first time. (Thanks for staying with me after the trial by fire, honey!) My mother sulked (soaked?) most of the day, the dinner would have been ruined if Lou and I hadn't taken it over, and it was especially depressing when compared to holidays in previous years. :(

3. T-Day 2002. It was Greyson's first Thanksgiving! If I recall correctly, he ate like a king - mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, and yummy jars of strained peas. Lou's parents were with us, as was Mark, and good food and fun were had by all. (At age 6, I may add, Mr. Greyson doesn't think much of Thanksgiving, since it's all about food. He'll learn!)

4. T-Day 2004. It was in the midst of a month full of random blackouts, and Thanksgiving Day was no exception. The power went out just before we sat down to eat, although thankfully after we had finished cooking the turkey! So we ate Thanksgiving dinner by candlelight in the breakfast nook at the house in Beverly.

5. T-Day 2000. We were in Italy, on our belated honeymoon, and I was carrying Matthew. On Thanksgiving Day, we did some shopping in Rome, then stopped to eat at this little restaurant (I'm pretty sure I had some darn tasty ravioli). We were serenaded by an Italian band that didn't entirely suck, and sat next to a family with two or three medium-size boys (9 or 10ish in age) who were spending their Thanksgiving holiday in Europe. They seemed really happy and emblematic of what we were looking forward to, and we were really happy in Italy together.

And now I'm really hungry and want some mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, and pumpkin pie. Maybe some pecan pie, too. With lots of Cool Whip!

from a table near you

The other day, I gave you a look from the windows above my desk. Today, a look from my 'second desk', otherwise known as the dining room table! These are 5 things I can see ...

1. A plastic playground ball. Veronica bought it one day last summer - she was very decisive that the ball was what she wanted. I try to keep it on the back porch, but mostly it drifts around the back yard like a tumbling tumbleweed.

2. A big black iron bell. It's mounted to the porch railing. I bought it last fall before we moved in, and put it on the back porch so I can ring it whenever the kids are playing out of sight and need to come in. It works pretty well! It doesn't ring during storms, though.

3. Strawberry beds. The squirrels and chipmunks got most of our fruit this year, but the plants grew well, so we're hoping for a good yield next year. The blueberry plants farther down the row flourished, and will hopefully fruit next summer. At the end of the row, I can't quite see the two cranberry bushes (they're very small). They did well last summer also, and produced two cranberries, but they were eaten off the vine because I was in North Carolina when they ripened. I was highly bummed.

4. A big tumbly rock wall. As I drove around here the summer before last, looking at houses, I kept hoping for a house with a rock wall - this one has several. The one across the back yard is filled with big boulders stacked up in varying heights.

5. A crazy girl with crazy hair, wearing a purple and gray Minnesota Vikings outfit, playing baseball all by herself.

the latest thing

I know it's been a while - at least a month - since I attempted to come up with a way to organize my time. And they tend to be short-lived. But the last month has convinced me that something new needs to be attempted, because my days are getting busier and I'm trying to add more things to them. It's my intention to make both running and writing a near-daily thing, and my kids are adding activities and needing to have playdates and things set up on a more regular basis. (Both the older two are displaying signs of inadequate socialization with their peers ... a familiar issue to me, and one that I hadn't been intending to pass on.)

At any rate, given all the things above, I'm trying to come up with a new, more workable and sustainable, system. It has become clear to me that I need to make it a list-based system. I can't do without my lists! I'm also abandoning my old system of randomization (it's complicated - let's just say that once you've memorized which 'random' location you're going to land on, it's not so random anymore ... and it's kind of pathetic to cheat your own systems!), and using dice instead. Lou convinced me to get some dice, back when we were playing D&D more regularly, and I have these lovely copper dice. They ought to be good.

So I figure, I go with a list-based system, make new lists every day - which I do anyway - and then have a set of base daily tasks and a checklist of weekly tasks. Plus, if I'm using a 20-sided die as my maximum, I can't have more than 20 items on the list, so it'll keep me from overloading myself and hopefully help me feel less overwhelmed and frustrated. I think a new notebook for list-making is in order, so I can keep them all in one place.

We'll see how it goes, anyway. It's something new, at least.

from a desk near you

Yes, I'm glad all the political commentary has passed by, too. Glad to know you're with me. It's been a hectic couple of weeks, and I've got a fair amount on my mind today, both good and bad, so in the interest of ignoring all of it, I bring you: 5 things I can see from my desk chair today.

1. A holly bush. This is a particularly lovely specimen, all deep green and tall ... and it must go. You see, in the spring when the holly bushes are in bloom, they attract hundreds and hundreds of bees (at least, it seems like that many). And when one actually enjoys using one's front door, and has holly bushes flanking said door ... well, you can see why they have to go. Bees and leisurely front-step sitting do not mix. I have to figure out how best to get rid of them, though.

2. The reflection of Baby Marvin and Baby Daffy the kids are watching Baby Looney Tunes, and I'm keeping an eye on it, backwards, as reflected in the window above me. Oh, that Daffy!

3. Trees, trees, and more trees. We are lucky enough to have a tree-lined driveway, and a tree-lined front yard. There are a lot of leaves, but on the bright side, it's so many leaves that there's really nothing you can do about them but enjoy them ... and on the even brighter side, all our neighbors are in the same boat! Not a lot of leaf collection in this neighborhood, other than the natural kind produced by drift.

4. A half-eaten pumpkin. The squirrels got to one of the pumpkins I so festively arranged on the stairs, then left their half-finished meal on my front walkway, the slobs! So I learned a valuable lesson - never kick a pumpkin, even a half-eaten one, as I kicked it off the walk and onto the grass and spent the next half hour limping. (They're really hard.)

5. Headlights! Lou's dad is back from his odyssey to the grocery store, purveyor of lobsters and clams, for his final New England meal before he heads back to the Northwest tomorrow. I suppose I should go see what else he picked up.

More books to come, and maybe some commentary on various topics. I'm sure you're all dying to hear about the status of my perennial organizational crisis...

book reviews!

I just finished three of my chapter-by-chapter books, so I'm pretty happy. I'm now onto my book group's current selection, which I have to admit I'm less thrilled about, so my rate is likely to slow down some.

Anne Perry, Death in the Devil's Acre. This one wasn't bad, but I can't say I was wild about the choice of killer, and the denouement was a bit rushed. Plus, I have to admit I like a mystery with a good wrap-up, and several of the Perrys I've read recently have ended quite abruptly.

Ditto, Cardington Crescent. I liked this one particularly because very little of it was from Pitt's perspective. It was refreshing to watch the mystery unfold through many different voices, and interesting to see a murder approach the main characters personally. (Yes, it did so in the first book as well, but I thought that subplot got short shrift amongst everything else that was going on.) I was dissatisfied with the ending - Perry likes to let her readers infer a great many things, but doesn't always drop the required number of implications for real understanding of what she's getting at. And, again, it was quite abrupt. I think what really bothers me about the abruptness is that I would like to see at least Thomas and Charlotte come together at the end and give each other (and the reader) some closure on what happened next to the other characters and how they felt about the case and its resolution.

Thomas Fleming, Washington's Secret War. I confess, I was surprised to discover, when I was about halfway through the book, that Fleming is quite a prominent historian. That's not what I would have expected from the book. I found it a bit disjointed, histrionic in places (does Washington's reputation really need to be defended that strenuously?), and both too detailed and not detailed enough, depending on your level of interest. I'm not keeping it, as I don't think it added much to my general knowledge of the era. (Interestingly, I've just added Fleming's West Point, an overview of that institution's effect on the officers who fought in the Civil War, to my regular book stack. I hope I like it better.)

Jane Finnis, Get Out or Die. A delightful surprise! I read Finnis's multiauthor blog, The Lady Killers, regularly, and was hoping to like this, her inaugural book. I was surprised to really love it. Her writing really brought the era of Roman Britain to life in a vivid and interesting way, her characters are multidimensional and not stereotyped too much, her main character's romance unfolded in a refreshingly straightforward manner, and the plot was interesting, historically salient, and unfolded well. Overall, I was very, very pleased and will be acquiring the rest of the series post-haste.

More reviews tomorrow. Yay!

one more thought on politics

And I promise I'll be all done with the topic!

I just like to promote the idea of the write-in vote. Last election year, I chose to write in a candidate I really believed in, rather than support either of the options the two main parties and the money behind them chose to shove in my face. Neither candidate seemed to me like a good choice for our highest office. Lou thought I was throwing away my vote - after all, my candidate had no chance of being elected. (Of course, he generally feels that any vote in Massachusetts is thrown away, since we're a solidly Democratic state, and he thinks his vote, whether it agrees with the rest of the state or not, is lost in the multitude.) Personally, I disagree. I think the voting process is there so the American citizenry can make their feelings known, and I dislike the way we tend, like sheep, to accept the preselection of candidates by the moneyed and politically powerful. I would rather vote for someone I actually have confidence in, but who will not be elected, than vote for someone I think is a bad choice. To me, that's the use my one small vote is best put to - sending a message that I have the freedom to think and choose for myself. Even if no one ever gets it, at least the message is out there.

Vote faithfully ... and then try not to talk about it!

political opinions

You may notice the political season has come and (nearly, thankfully) gone without any notice of it here. (Yes, I also realize it's been pretty quiet around here recently - this is what two birthdays, a major holiday, and many visiting relatives will do to an occasional blogger. And yes, when one has three children in preschool/grade school, Halloween is a major holiday.) But back to politics. Over the years, I've been through many stages of guilt over my lack of interest. I've finally come to this: I find politics staggeringly tedious. I simply can't focus on the issues long enough to develop a thoroughly well researched and thought out opinion. (There's a whole separate issue on the lack of trustworthiness in the news resources and my unwillingness to go hunting for the real truth. Someday I'll summon up enough moral outrage to complain about it here.) So I try to avoid political discussions, since I don't much see the point in getting worked up over it - I'm not about to run out and try to change it, after all.

That said, I have a couple of thoughts about this year's political season, and feel the need to write them down.

Firstly, it seems like many of the issues at stake are about change (and chance). To stick with the Republican party line, or take a chance on a new regime? Here in Massachusetts, do we keep the state income tax and trust that the status quo is going to somehow take care of our schools, or do we take the chance that localizing the money flow is going to channel more of it where it belongs? Personally, I'm on the side of change. Since the current system, in both cases, doesn't seem to be working out that well, I can't see how more of the same would be a good choice.

Secondly, I think I would be afraid to be a citizen of this country under Sarah Palin's leadership. Most of what I've heard her say sounds dogmatic and judgmental, and since I suspect I don't agree with her in many areas, she'd probably consider me less American than she is. I don't trust her to have the best interests of the entire country at heart. Or even to give lip service to it.

Thirdly, I do feel like this election season has opened a few doors in the American electoral process. If I were a woman and/or a non-Caucasian, I'd be looking forward to a much brighter future ahead - I think this campaign season has demonstrated that the 21st century is a place where politics is no longer dominated by white men past retirement age. Hallelujah. It's about time.

Mostly, though, I have to admit - I am sick, sick, sick of politics. I'm trying to hold on to a little bit of interest through Tuesday, but the partisan sniping, the speculations, the last-ditch efforts at discreditation, the overall divisiveness - it's unhealthy for the country in general and is not what we need to achieve lasting positive change. I look forward to the end, the final decision, and just getting it over with, so we can all get on with our lives.

book reviews

Moving right along! I've actually made more progress this year on the to-be-read stack(s) than I thought, but I still think it looks like I'll have to make a modified version of the "no new books" pledge for 2009.

Norma Kassirer, Magic Elizabeth. Yes, this is children's literature, and not even classic. (Published in 1966, which makes it arguable, I suppose.) Probably, if it weren't so girly, Greyson could read it. Nonetheless, it's one of my favorites; I've read it time and time again; and I really love it.

Anne Perry, Rutland Place. I felt this was a fairly lackluster entry into the Perry oeuvre. Not a very exciting plot, not a lot of memorable characters. On to the next one (I seem to recall finding this one disappointing the first time I read it, as well).

Victor Hugo, Les Miserables. Don't get excited. I didn't finish it. This was my third try at the massive tome, and I got almost halfway before deciding that, given the many, many books on my to-be-read and to-be-bought lists, life is just too short to waste any further time, when I can get more enjoyment out of listening to the musical 17 or 18 times.

David Hackett Fischer, Washington's Crossing. This was a nice, solid piece of research. In particular, the first set of sections - on the three armies - was something I had never seen before and really well done and informative.

happiness and luck

I've been noticing recently a great upswing in my luck. In the last few months, I've won a big planter (with plants), a book, and a restaurant gift card. Now, this doesn't sound like much - but I don't usually win anything, so it's been a pretty lucky year so far. It's also been a particularly good and happy year, leading me to wonder: does happiness improve your luck? It certainly seems connected. But I haven't yet been tempted to try my hand at the lottery - maybe I should!

a quiet evening

Here we are on a Saturday evening, after a day full of errands. Freshly baked bread (by Lou!) is cooling on the stove, chicken (for an easy coq au vin-style recipe) is thawing in the sink. My children are sprawled in chairs and couches watching Popeye. Lou and his father are working in the basement. And I'm sitting here blogging, thinking of what to do between now and starting dinner.

(Mostly, I just want to go to sleep, and since that's not likely to happen, getting up and moving is probably the next thing on the schedule!)

1994

I was thinking about it last night and realized, to my shock, that the last time I had Christmas with my family was 1994.

Now, Christmases with my family weren't all starlight and holly-bushes, and Christmases with Lou's family are boisterous, fun, and filled with joy (in general). But still ... it's been almost a decade and a half since I had my own family-of-origin to have Christmas with.

But you know what I really miss? And from much longer ago than 1994: I miss lying in bed on Christmas eve with my mom and grandmother at my grandparents' house in Fostoria, and hearing Santa's sleigh bells. (Yes, I really did. Several times. Take that, nonbelievers.) I've been listening for a quarter century now, and have never heard him anywhere else. Grandma must have had quite an in with jolly old St. Nicholas!

5 things I love about parenting

I'm finding this to be my favorite parenting time ever, as my kids are all getting older and becoming more and more interesting. These are some of my favorites:

1. watching them sleep. I love to look in on them after the day is done - they look so peaceful and quiet.

2. holding hands. Any time one of them walks with me holding my hand - it feels so trusting and close and makes me feel special.

3. snuggles! Need I say more?

4. listening to them play. It's so interesting to hear the way their minds work, especially when they're playing alone and having a running commentary with their toys.

The fifth one is harder to reduce to a bullet point. I just love watching their growing independence, seeing the pride and pleasure they take in school and friends, the enthusiasm they have for books and games and toys, and just generally the way they're developing as people.

"and I was like ..."

If there's one conversational tic I could break myself of, that would be the one. I picked it up somewhere in high school, and cannot seem to get rid of it. It would be easier, simpler, and certainly grammatically correct to say "and I said ..." but no. Out it comes. "And I was like ... " Occasionally, even worse, it's "I went ..." Or "he goes ..."

Dreadful. Embarrassing. I feel like I brand myself a perennial teenager every time I do it. But I can't break myself of it, no matter how I try. Some day I'll be a little old lady, telling my grandkids stories, and they'll be cracking on my grammar.

book reviews

Time for another round!

Elaine Viets, Dying to Call You. Pretty good, really. Nice characters, decent plot, fast-moving; a nice entry in the series.

Will James, Sun Up: Tales of the Cow Camps. I was a little disappointed. Not so much with the writing - it was fairly good writing, a little erratic, but in general decent characters and decent plots. But I felt as though the subtitle was a bit misleading, as far more of the stories took place in and around and about rodeos than in cow camps. Perhaps they're interconnected, but I wouldn't have bought the book if I'd known. So it was a nice read, but isn't a keeper.

Ken Follett, World Without End. I recently joined a book group, and this was the first book they were reading. I'd never heard of Follett before, and apparently must pick up WWE's prequel, Pillars of the Earth, at some point - many, many people have spoken glowingly of it. So I was prepared for WWE to knock my socks off. It was perfectly adequate, but not sock-knocking. About 400 pages in the middle (out of 1000) needed to be excised, or at least heavily edited and rewritten, as they formed a mostly awkward bridge between the two well-written sections of the book. Not sure if it's a keeper or not, but as it's on extended loan (to a fellow book-group member who hadn't actually read it), I'm not worrying about it yet.

Marisa de los Santos, love walked in. Another book group assignment. I didn't think I would like it - the first two chapters were in two different points of view, leaving me jumping between characters and not giving my full attention to either one because I wanted to see what was happening to the other one, and the younger girl character's situation was uncomfortably close to home. But as the book went on (and the two characters met and their stories merged into one), it became lovely. Thoughtful, thought-provoking, deeply emotional. Still uncomfortable - several characters had parts of my life to deal with - and the ending felt plodding, as though the author didn't quite know how to get her characters out of the situation she'd placed them in (and it was a tangled one, so I feel for her dilemma), but overall well worth reading.

Robert Burns, The Poems of ... I admit it, I barely started this one. The poems are in the original dialect, making them impossible to understand without heavy reference to the keynotes, and I just didn't want to work that hard. I feel a bit guilty about it - my early forays into poesy have left me feeling as though I need to respect and enjoy poetry and seek it out where I can - but life is short, my time is limited, and thousands of other books are waiting for me.

fall in New England

Fall has come early (or on time, as far as I'm concerned) this year. The past couple of years we've been in shorts and T-shirts through the end of October. This year, we're into the jeans and turtlenecks type of weather that I like. I'm hoping we don't blow through it into heavy coats and mittens weather too fast!

Meanwhile, the leaves are turning lovely colors, with pumpkins and mums displayed brightly on all the lawns. Apple cider is in the fridge, two birthdays and Halloween are coming up, school is in full session ... and the groundhog is still busy chowing down on what's left of the clover in my lawn.

Hopefully this time next fall, we'll have a few of our own apples to harvest!

whew, there's a lot to do!

It may well be a slow blogging month! Between now and this time next month, there are:

- two birthdays, one with party
- Halloween
- three birthday parties (unrelated to the two birthdays in the house)
- four journal deadlines (and the necessity to actually do the work!)
- at least three, possibly four relatives visiting (and the potential of a fifth arriving not long after Nov. 3)

In addition, of course, to the usual round of Greyson's school; Charles's school; flag football, tae kwon do, and baseball; Veronica's playgroup; an eye doctor appt.; two school in-service days and a half-day.

It seems likely to be a busy several weeks! I need a nap...

blessed solitude

I'm back from my annual pilgrimage (get it?) to Plymouth. This year, it was storming on and off all weekend, so my usual activities were a little cramped, but I kind of liked it ... I had brought 16 books with me, and felt a lot more like holing up and reading than hitting the tourist spots. I did manage to get my shopping in, although it seemed that the rain picked up every time I had to deposit something in my car.

I reread old favorites Little Town on the Prairie, These Happy Golden Years, Cheaper by the Dozen, and Belles on Their Toes. They never get old, although in the case of the two Little House books I've read them probably once a year (at least) since I learned how to read at that level. I really do find more in them every time I read them, especially in recent years.

In further rereading, I'm now working on Anne Perry's Thomas and Charlotte Pitt Victorian mysteries ... I've read them all, but never in published order, so I'm doing that now. I got through the first four: The Cater Street Hangman, Callander Square, Paragon Walk, and Resurrection Row. All four are pretty solid, if congenitally over-introspective. All of Perry's characters are gifted with supernatural insight into other people's lives, feelings, and thoughts, and are incredibly introspective. You either have to get used to the style and live with it, or not read her books.

I also read two of her Christmas mysteries. A Christmas Secret was pretty good - I liked the characters, the setting was vivid and well-imagined, and the plot was decent. A Christmas Journey, on the other hand, was dreadful. Wooden, one-dimensional characters who were largely the same, a pace that was hard to follow and left a lot of detail behind in its wake, a 'mystery' that was never fully resolved and was left as not much more than a series of suggestions in the mind of the reader and the main character. It felt very much like a novella that was made by cutting off the first and last chapters, and several out of the middle, of a larger book. Big disappointment.

Speaking of disappointment, I read A.S. Byatt's Little Black Book of Stories. Byatt tends to be a little hit-or-miss to me. Some of her work (Possession is a particular favorite) is lyrical and lovely. Others are simply odd, and I find her short stories tend toward the odd. This book featured a story about a woman who turned - literally - to stone (among others along the same fantasy-meets-reality lines). It was an interesting story, but honestly that whole genre just doesn't grab me. I like my fiction to be set in the real world, and my fantasy to be set in a different one ... and never the twain to meet. So while I didn't enjoy Little Black Book, someone of a more imaginative bent might like it better.

I came to the (current) end of the Dead End job mysteries with Clubbed to Death (Elaine Viets). One of her better entries, it was fun, moved quickly, had good lively characters. I like how she's moving the character's life forward instead of leaving her static, and appreciate that the meta-arc is staying true to the character's spirit.

Finally, I read Dark Canyon, by Louis L'Amour. Such an inventive author! L'Amour is never at a loss for a plot. This one is no exception - fresh plot, interesting characters, but still retaining that distinctive L'Amour flavor. Very good.

And that ends the list of my weekend's reading. My brain felt as though it was still in Plymouth for a good 24 hours after I got home, but I think I'm all here now and feel much better for the chance to get away in solitude for a couple of days.

the skeletons in the closet

I think everyone has a few - those facts about yourself that you know are going to come out sometime, that you know will surprise/shock/embarrass, that you always wonder when to present to people you meet. Basically, you have three choices: to never talk about it, which means the people you know will always be missing a facet of you (and probably an important facet, if it's so important you avoid talking about it); to bring it up at once, which makes you look like a huge over-sharer; or to wait until your relationship with the other person has reached a certain level of intimacy, which places a huge amount of emphasis on the 'big reveal'.

I tend, I admit, to practice a combination of all three, depending on the circumstances and the person. I also admit, that to me it's the elephant in the room ... if I'm talking to another mom, for example, and I know she doesn't know about Matthew, it colors every conversation about pregnancy, babies, and related topics - which is about half of them! "Should I tell her now? Would that be weird? If I tell this story without mentioning him, will it make sense?" Mostly I wish I could carry around a portable FAQ to get it all out of the way up front.

"together" moms

You know the ones I mean - the moms who always have all the right equipment, whose kids listen quietly and never have to be yelled at, who clearly have all their trains running on time. I jumped in the midst of a bunch of together moms today, most of whom spent their time looking at me like I was the only person without a costume at the costume party. It felt very much like there was something obvious I was missing that the rest of them all knew about.

Realistically, there's no such thing as a "together" mom. I've met enough moms and been fortunate enough to get to know them well enough to know that underneath what looks like a calm and "with it" exterior, most women feel exactly the same way I do - like everyone can look at them and see exactly all the things that are wrong with them. Sadly, this knowledge doesn't help me that much in the moment. I've learned not to take it personally ... but forcing my self-consciousness down and my self-confidence forward only gets me that far.

Nonetheless, my first couple of experiences in this week of enforced extroversion have left me feeling gawky and geeky. But I will persevere - I dimly recall that it gets easier with practice.

book reviews

Most of these are rereads this time around. Starting with:

Elinore Pruitt Stewart, Letters of a Woman Homesteader. Fascinating book, and more interesting the second time. She had an amazing set of adventures and was really willing to try all sorts of things - much more out-and-about and daring than our standard view of ranch wives. Possibly this is the result of her having married into an existing ranch, so she wasn't building things up from the ground. At any rate, a good choice for both reading and research.

Jane Smiley, Duplicate Keys. I'd only read this one once, and a long time ago, so I didn't really remember it. I found watching the story unfold just as interesting the second time around. The characters are dense and complex, the writing precise. Not an amazing book, but solid and enjoyable.

Marguerite Henry, King of the Wind. A childhood favorite! The story of a boy and his horse and their love for each other never gets old.

Louis L'Amour, Utah Blaine. (A new read.) An excellent entry into the L'Amour library. Blaine's a little more idealized than many of his heroes - the kind of man it's hard to believe could have really existed - but the plot is good, the action moves fast, and the characters are all pretty well defined.

Elaine Viets, Just Murdered. I found this one a little more contrived than the rest of the series. An enjoyable romp, but not a lot more than that.

5 things that make me happy today

It's a grey, rainy day; flag football was rained out this morning; my children have been up down and in between, and all of it loudly. It's a good day for a happiness reminder!

1. Coffee. Definitely coffee.

2. 1491. I'm in the middle of the first chapter of this book, and am really enjoying it.

3. Bedtime. (Theirs.) I'm dreaming of the oasis of quiet that will be my evening once they're all sweetly shoved ... I mean, tucked .... into bed.

4. Plymouth. I'm going back in just under two weeks, and am already so excited!

5. Football. Especially when the Patriots are winning (although the Vikings could have made it a better day had they just held onto their lead!).

an introvert in extrovert's clothing

We're back into the school year now, and with it all the activities and out-and-aboutness that are a part of the whole "kids in school" experience.

Over the summer, we were rarely out and about in challenging social situations. We saw good friends or strangers or no one at all. While I wouldn't necessarily say that was the right choice, it worked for us and especially for me, cradling me in a lovely introvert cocoon. I didn't have to exert myself to be social, didn't have to be "on" for anyone. But then the school year started ... I've had dinners to deal with, moms at school, run into people in random places like the local ice cream parlor. And my responses have been sluggish, to say the least. I feel that old awkward, out-of-place, wait-for-someone-else-to-initiate shyness.

At the same time, I've become aware that in holding on to old friends and social networks (my comfort zone) I have not developed any new networks. So I'm taking the big plunge: this week alone, I have a playdate, two evening socials, a flag football game, a school pizza party, and potentially a local book group meeting. (Not to mention mornings and afternoons at the bus stop, preschool drop-off and pick-up, and various errands.) At most of which I will not find any "comfortable" friends and will have to exert myself to be confident and socially ept.

Now, left to myself, I probably wouldn't. I'd stay home, hang out with the better half, books computers TV, etc. But as the mom of three kids just starting to make their splash in the local scene, it is an important part of my job to make the mom connections that will help them make kid connections. Getting and keeping them socialized represents an important part of preparing them for the world (and is a step my own mother was particularly bad at, hence my current predicament).

I'm looking forward to the challenge ... somewhat ... having come a long way in the last 5 years toward a real level of confidence in these situations. But I will admit to having regressed quite a bit since we moved last year. Nothing like a bike marathon to help you remember how to ride, right?

reality starts

This has been a lovely week. One kid in school all day, leaving a long, unbroken day between drop-off and pick-up; very few things planned, allowing me to fill my days and keep them productive. Today, however, is the first day of preschool. Next week we go to the regular schedule, with preschool three days a week. Evenings a filled all week long, and I'll be out of the house almost every morning. (Preschool is far enough away that if I have anything to do, I might as well not bother coming home between drop-off and pick-up.) How will I get anything done? I'm going to have to adapt to the schedule and really try and come up with a good way to prioritize and accomplish the things that need to get done. Whew! And, since that's not enough, one of my tasks this morning is to sign the kids up for activities. Good for them, but not so much for my schedule!

children's television

I'm in the middle of some serious TiVo administration. I try to go through the upcoming shows at least every other day - keeps me on top of what's taping and what's not, allows me to check before something tapes if it's an episode I've already seen, generally keeps me well aware of what my household is watching. I've been noticing a trend over the last week or so that the To Do List was looking pretty empty ... even considering that primetime shows haven't started showing up yet. It turns out that when the kids' channels switched over to the new season, our Season Passes didn't go with them. So I had to go through and clean up the Season Pass list, get rid of the old ones, and reevaluate which shows needed to be taped and which ones weren't getting watched.

I made the decision that both Curious George and Zoboomafoo had to go. I love Zoboo, but the kids never want to watch it. CG I was never such a fan of ... if it didn't have William H. Macy narrating, I don't think we would have watched it in the first place! Mostly by this point we've whittled down what TiVo picks up for our kids to shows that Lou and I enjoy watching as well and think are good-quality TV. (No, that's not an oxymoron.)

The Backyardigans: inventive plots, promotion of prop-free imagination-driven play, and a wide range of topics covered. Plus, catchy songs.

Arthur. Classic kids' stuff. Personally, I love Buster. It's an articulate show that treats kids like equals and doesn't talk down to them.

Cyberchase. I admit, this one isn't my favorite. I don't like the animation style and just can't get into the characters. But the boys love it - it's one of their top choices at any given time - and they certainly learn a lot of math concepts from it.

Baby Looney Tunes. Modern take on the classic characters. I think they do a great job of updating and deaging the original characters. The plotlines are inventive and fun and there are some inside jokes for fans of the early cartoons as well. My personal favorite is Sylvester.

Avatar: The Last Airbender. A new classic that our whole family loves to watch together. It's a good vs. evil epic battle narrative with nice art, detailed and complicated characters, and a well-thought-out mythology. The only thing I can't decide is whether I'm a bigger fan of Sokka or Zuko.

Dragon Tales. This skews a little younger, and is mostly a back-up these days, but everyone likes it and it makes for restful, interesting watching.

Max & Ruby. This is notably Charles's favorite show. It's a little more old-fashioned than most, and definitely has some quirks (famously, they have no parents, so Ruby is always in charge of her little brother). It's also very polarizing - either you love it or you hate it. I like it myself - the old-fashionedness appeals to me.

book reviews

Still more books finished! I let the stacks collect until I have a few ... and I'm still trying to catch up on the ones I read in North Carolina and New York this summer. My annual pilgrimage to Plymouth is coming up in a few weeks, so I'm collecting books to read there - but I think I may have collected a few too many! There is a limit to how many books a person can read in a weekend, sad to say.

Elaine Viets, Murder with Reservations. From a mystery standpoint, this may be her best plot yet. And from a character development standpoint, I really like that she's moving the characters' lives forward. I was nervous for a while that every book was going to fall into the "character in love, character and boyfriend have misunderstanding, character and boyfriend reconcile" plotline, which gets stale quickly. (This is why I stopped reading Janet Evanovich except on a casual basis. How long can one woman stay stuck in a love triangle?)

Elaine Viets, Murder Unleashed. A bit of a convoluted plot, and a little on the farcical side. And suffered from being the second book in a row to follow the character arc I mentioned above, with the misunderstanding and reconciliation. Still, her books are fun, fast reads, and she has a lovely way with characters.

Louis L'Amour, Borden Chantry. A Western murder mystery! Nice plot, nice characterization. Chantry himself is a great character, and the ending is deep and thought-provoking.

Stephen Taylor, Caliban's Shore: The Wreck of the Grosvenor and the Strange Fate of her Survivors. This was an enjoyable book - well-written, engaging, filled with tidbits and well-researched information. But in the end, it promised more than it delivered - literally. At one point, the author promised to talk about the youngest member of the shipwrecked party, who may have had the strangest story of them all. But he never did, unless it was hidden somewhere in a chapter full of maybes that didn't seem to go anywhere. And the book was arranged oddly - only the first half was chronological, but it didn't follow all the groups, so people kept popping up and you didn't know what had happened to them since the last you heard of them, and halfway through the chronology ended and the speculation began. I just have too many quibbles with the book to keep it.

Erle Stanley Gardner, The Case of the Queenly Contestant. This was the last of the series - I read all the ones I own (probably 70% of the series) in chronological order. Queenly Contestant was a fine installment - not remarkable, but perfectly solid, and the series itself is generally thought-provoking, with good characters, exciting plots, and a multidecade chronicle of life in Los Angeles. Well done, Mr. Gardner.

the successful financier

Over the course of the summer, we instituted a new chore chart for the boys: each one has four chores that they could do every day. When they do a chore, they get a sticker. Every sticker is worth 10 cents at the end of the week. At the same time, I announced that we were done buying them toys, except at Christmas and birthdays. I was tired of buying special things that then were left lying around unplayed with. So I told them if they want a new toy, they have to do chores, earn money, and buy the toy themselves.

Now, I don't remind them every day. Ideally, they will do their chores without my riding them. When things get bad, I sponsor a group chore-doing, and on Sundays when payout comes and no one has any stickers, I point out that no chores = no money.

On a recent trip with Daddy, young Charles discovered a $20 toy that he very much wants. (It's some kind of Star Wars thing.) So he came home, dragged down his bank, and started counting. He discovered that he has almost $18! And within 5 minutes of making this discovery, he had - unbidden - done three chores, and done them well. He's working on the big push this week to make the last few dollars, which means he's been doing his chores cheerfully and without needing to be reminded.

It's always nice to see a system working the way it was intended.

book reviews

My finished books stack is growing again - yay! The unread stack is shrinking very, very slowly - but at least it's shrinking.

J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring. I'm new to this series (I read each book for the first time just prior to the movie coming out), so this was only my second reading. I was struck, to begin with, at just how competent Pippin and especially Merry are in the book as compared with the movies. I get the reason for the difference, though. And secondly struck with exactly how much Sean Astin deserved some major awards - his performance meshed with the Sam in the book perfectly.

Gary Provost, 100 Ways to Improve Your Writing. Definitely dated in places (I could have done without the instructions on how to clean my typewriter!), still a well-laid-out set of thoughtful, common-sense tips/reminders. A good reference.

Erle Stanley Gardner, Case of the Careless Cupid. Kind of a fresh concept, good characters and plot. An excellent entry in the series. But I have an inescapable question. Judges and prosecutors are always complaining that Mason tries his cases in the preliminary hearings ... but wouldn't that end up saving the state money? If the case can be cleared up in the preliminary hearing, that means no jury, no trial, no need to schedule a trial, etc. Isn't that a good thing? The constant complaints about it seem just sour.

Erle Stanley Gardner, Case of the Fabulous Fake. Not as good. The title is a stretch, the defendant the usual damsel in distress who lies to Perry and does just the opposite of everything he tells her. Not abysmal, but not a standout, either.

Candice Millard, River of Doubt: Theodore Roosevelt's Darkest Journey. A highly enjoyable book. Well-researched, the story well-told, characters drawn vividly - including the jungle itself, which is really the protagonist. It's not a keeper because I'm not really a Rooseveltian scholar, but it was very much worth reading and quite enjoyable.

back to school at last!

I admit that the local school schedule is hard to get used to. The kids didn't get out for the summer until the end of June, which took forever to arrive. And then were the last school district in the area to start up again. But finally this morning we were ready to put the big kid on the bus for his first day of full-day school.

As demanded, he was up bright and early, with his clothes on and his breakfast ready. (I notice, though, that he did forget to feed his fish. I'll have to remind him to do that later.) Then he got sidetracked watching Avatar online while I experimented with his lunch. I need to get him a different Thermos, as the one we have doesn't fit in his lunchbox or the side pockets of his backpack. We finally headed on our way down the driveway. His backpack was way overloaded with all the first-day supplies, so I carried it most of the way. He hopped on the bus and was on his way - never even looked out the window!

Meanwhile, back in the house, young Charles was busy with some miniatures and dice, playing an elaborate game, and Miss Veronica was waiting to be dressed. After some more play, we headed off to the grocery store, which I was hoping would be a nice quiet trip. But, no. The youngsters insisted on one of those car carts, and proceeded to fight (both in play and for real) their way through the store. But once we got home, it was back to quiet play on their own, as Miss V. played kitchen and Charles went back to his miniatures battle. Now they're watching Cyberchase and getting ready for lunch. Shortly after will be naptime! The first privacy I'll have had in months. I'll be back with an update as the day unfolds!

Today was Charles's first day of no nap. He enjoyed his quiet time, especially once he realized that no, I was not going to let him come downstairs. He and Veronica both were up, and Charles was playing Prince Caspian on the Wii while Veronica watched a show when it was time for me to go get Greyson off the bus. The bus was late, as you might expect for the first day of school, and the younger two were on their way down the driveway by the time a subdued Greyson and I were heading back up. Greyson took great pleasure in announcing that he had not missed any of us all day. He gave the day a 5 out of 10, much to my surprise ... but at least there's plenty of room for it to get better as he gets to know the kids in his class better. He enjoyed seeing his teacher again and seeing his music teacher, had fun on the playground, and apparently found lunch to be something of a nonevent.

He's been quieter than usual this afternoon, but we had fun swimming and the kids dug in the yard for a while, so it was a good day all things considered. Notably, it was quiet all day until he got home, and then the crying shouting fighting whining picked up again. Still, though - it was a good day for everyone! Viva school!

long weekends are bad for blogging!

Technically, I had a nearly 5-day weekend - my better half was off Friday afternoon, and had to come home yesterday to help with the kids. And of course, Labor Day weekend. During all of which there was much fun - swimming, game-playing, fun with kids, etc. But not much time for blogging! Hence the long pause between posts.

This week is a big one (and short), with Greyson's first day of first grade. I'm hoping for some bonus peace and quiet with the big guy at school with his friends. I think he'll like it, too.

smaller portion sizes in restaurants

I had dinner last night at TGI Friday's. First time in a while - 8 months or so, I think. I came home pleasantly full, but not overstuffed at all, and that after eating my entire meal (none reserved for today's lunch, which is my usual practice) and dessert. Granted, I did not finish the mashed potatoes, which were grossly overcheesed and oversalted.

The meal was a modest portion of food - two skewers of small shrimp, a decent-sized mound of mashed potato, and a piece of Texas toast. Then the dessert, when it arrived, was notably small for a restaurant chain. It was a piece of peanut butter pie (quite good, actually) - but about 2" tall instead of the massive 5" I expected to see, and the slice was cut to fit the height proportion.

This all leads me to wonder: is there a trend beginning in restaurants to serve smaller portions, on the theory that a) they must be cheaper, b) people will pay the same (or more, I wouldn't doubt) for less food, and c) people are trying to lose weight? This strikes me as a good plan, and a good way to differentiate one chain from the others (I admit - I can't tell a lot of difference between Friday's, Ruby Tuesday's, Applebee's, 99, and Chili's.) The only problem with this theory? I would have to think that if smaller portions were a conscious choice, the restaurant would want to make a big deal out of it, and they certainly didn't last night. Either way, it was a nice change ... although I will kind of miss the nice tasty lunch when I'm eating cereal or pb&j today!

tricked!

There was no storm last night after all! All those glowering clouds and muttering trees were just so much ado about nothing. Today is slightly cooler - the pumpkins on the vine no longer look out of season, as it feels like fall is coming. I suspect this year when Charles's birthday rolls around, we won't be wearing shorts.

The rest of the week looks sunny and more of the same slightly cooler temperatures. I'm not complaining now - my ability to regulate heat has disappeared in the last couple of years - but I will be in the spring, I'm sure.

storm coming

After a lovely week of blue skies and golden sunshine beaming down upon us, we are heading back into thunderstorm season. Today the air was heavy, hot and muggy. Now the sky is a deep cadet blue (incidentally, my favorite crayon color), and the clouds are looking more and more gray and less and less blue. The trees, standing shoulder to shoulder along the back of the property, are swaying in the wind, whispering secrets back and forth like a group of kids in line in the school hallway.

On a more prosaic note, I've already been out to rescue the solar cover on the pool, since my son forgot to put the rock on the corner when we got out of the pool this afternoon. The collected swimsuits and towels are flapping occasionally on the railings of the back porch. It's days like this that I'm grateful the winds were so high-velocity in Beverly, forcing us to buy heavy wrought-iron deck furniture! The cover is on the bin of outside toys, for once (like more water could do those things any more damage).

Inside, the lights are bright, the living room is clean, the kids are in their pajamas waiting for the bedtime that is just around the corner, and the Backyardigans are off on another wacky adventure. Let it storm!

the people you can't find on Facebook

So I've recently been led into the wide world of social networking sites, and joined Facebook. The first few days were some major time-suckage, meandering around, figuring out the site, and catching up with people I haven't seen in years. (That has slowed down some - of the people I've found on the site, I've contacted almost all the ones I wanted to talk to. This is made slightly more awkward by my double name change, since many of these people knew me premarriage and preShay, so there need to be some explanations. It does provide a slowdown in my rate of "friending", however, since I tend to pause and be very sure it's worth the bother before I try and contact someone.)

At any rate, in my various wanderings around the site, I found that as I was catching up with people on the site, I kept wanting to search for my mother. As though in my brain Facebook was some magical web location where I could connect with all the best parts of my old life, and somewhere on there I would find my mother lurking in her 1980s persona. Pathetic, really, but I have to admit I'd like to talk to her and find out what she's been doing all this time.

random thoughts

1. Yes, I need to update the blog more often.

2. My daughter is beginning to develop opinions about what she wears, which is a sad day for Mommy.

3. I have quite a bit to do before we leave for the amusement park in an hour or so.

4. I could get my kids to help, but that would a) spoil the surprise, and b) cause them to whine.

5. School needs to start sooner than two weeks from now, because the whining and fighting is becoming an epidemic.

6. I have a food hangover this morning - ate so much last night at dinner that I can't imagine being hungry again.

7. I should have some coffee, though.

8. Coffee's good.

9. Just shy of two weeks left before school starts - what will I do with these kids?

10. Exactly why is "Bigfoot body is a hoax" headline-worthy? Did they think anyone actually thought it was real?

book reviews

Catching up on my recently finished books:

Ian K. Steele, Warpaths: Invasions of North America. This is a reread - I read this book years ago, gave it away to my mom, took it back again. As a survey of the colonization of the continent, it's pretty thorough and has a fair number of interesting details hidden inside, but overall the writing is fairly dry (or "scholarly", if you prefer!) and the later chapters are definitely inferior to the earlier ones. Not sure if this is a keeper or not.

Anna Katharine Green, The Golden Slipper, and Other Problems for Violet Strange. Okay, I have to confess, I don't entirely like Violet Strange, although after the revelations contained in the last story maybe I will feel differently about her the next time I read the book. But Anna Katharine Green is a good writer. She crafts her settings, characters, and plots carefully, and the world she envisions is a rich and detailed one.

Erle Stanley Gardner, The Case of the Troubled Trustee. Not a bad entry in the Gardnerverse. Interesting defendant, unique plot with some nice detail. Overall, solid.

Mary O'Hara, Thunderhead. Another reread. I find Thunderhead decidedly inferior to My Friend Flicka, and both books honestly a bit dated. But for all that, this one is pretty good and a nice wrap-up to the issues from the first book. My main complaint about this one is that there's not enough Nell in the later stages of the book. Her perspective is well drawn, and it would be nice to have more of it.

Henry F. Pringle, Theodore Roosevelt. Not a keeper. It might not have been anyway, no matter the quality, as I'm not necessarily fascinated enough by Roosevelt to collect a biography. But this one disappointed me. One of the fascinating things about Theodore Roosevelt is all the things that he was interested in and took part in outside politics. This book brushed most of those aside with a paragraph or two, and I felt certainly in the later portion of TR's life emphasized politics to the exclusion of everything else. It felt forced - the author bent over backwards to make his points and shoehorn the politics in places, and I think the reader was left with a very skewed perspective of a dynamic multifaceted man through a "biography" that offered only one facet to view and considered all the others to be not much more than footnotes.

a sorry sight

I love old houses. Have I mentioned this before? It seems to me it may have come up. But I'm not sure I've adequately expressed just how much I love old houses.

Today, the kids and I went to a new park. It was in the middle of a farm area I didn't know existed, near a state-run equine facility. "State grounds" notices were everywhere. The kids loved the park (Greyson even found a kid from his school, although sadly not from his actual class, and they got on quite well), and the area was beautiful. But on the way through the state grounds, we passed four or five beautiful old houses - big white farmhouses with stone foundations, one with a cupola, another with a lovely screened-in porch. Clearly, the state has no idea what to do with these houses, as all of them are boarded up and just falling to pieces. It made me sick to my stomach to pass them. Such a waste! Lovely old houses that someone would love to live in, just left to die. Yes - they're inanimate objects in a world where violence towards and neglect of human beings, animals, and other living things is all too common, and yet this is what I get upset about. I can't help it, frankly. I always feel sad when I see an abandoned old house by a highway or somewhere ... but 5? I was overwhelmed by sadness. Poor things.

book reviews

I have quite a few books to catch up on. My reading speed has taken off recently, and I'm moving along at a much better clip. Still not shrinking the stacks as fast as I would like, but getting better, at any rate.

Barbara Ferry Johnson, Lionors: Arthur's Uncrowned Queen. I've had this one for years and read it several times. It's my favorite retelling of the Arthur myth - largely, I think, because it deals with this woman Arthur supposedly had an affair with, and so there are a lot of domestic details and the action of the court goes on offstage, as it were. It holds up well to rereading.

Louis L'Amour, The High Graders. A decent effort. Needed a bit of fleshing out, if memory serves, and not a tour de force by any means, but still - perfectly fine book.

Archie Binns, The Land Is Bright. An Oregon trail story, The Land Is Bright belongs to the school of books with little pity for their characters. Bad things happen, but as was the case in real life, the rest of the people go on because they must. Overall I found the book eminently readable, the characters both complicated and interesting.

Shelby Foote, The Civil War: Fredericksburg to Meridian. The second volume in an immense three-volume survey of the entire Civil War, this one lived up to the first. Detailed, intricated, filled with small details to capture the reader's interest and discussions of the deeper issues - they're dense, but well worth it. And as reference works, highly useful.

Ira M. Rutkow, Bleeding Blue and Gray. This book started out tremendously. I was so excited - it answered a lot of questions I had about the topic of medicine during the Civil War, illustrated them with examples, and discussed the complexities in depth. Sadly, by the end of the book Rutkow had lost the thread a little bit, and it became a lot less about the battlefield and what actually went on with medicine in the War, and a lot more about Washington politics and the machinations behind the Surgeon General's post and the Sanitary Commission. Interesting topic, but not what I had hoped for. It's worth keeping for the first half, but I wish the editor had been more on the ball and kept the author a bit more in track. It had such potential.