This year, being the "first year of the rest of my life", as defined by not having any more babies, feels like the year of self-improvement. I have my resolutions, and am trying to also work on being a better friend, a better parent, and an all-around better person. But the problem with that is beginning to reveal itself. I'm so focused on improving myself that all I can see are the flaws. Flaws in how I look, how I act, the ways I choose to spend my time, the ways I parent—and they begin to seem so obvious to me that I think everyone else must see them as clearly as I do. Which has made me feel a little prickly and insecure these past few weeks.
So the challenge is to keep working on the things I've marked as "needs improvement", and leave the rest alone so as not to get too overwhelmed or down on myself. And to be aware that I'm hyper-sensitive right now to everything I perceive as being "wrong with me"—but that doesn't mean that other people are. (And going back to my post of last week ... remembering that other people spend a lot less time thinking about me than I do!)
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