demotivated

I think that pretty much says it all. I'm not motivated to get out of bed in the morning, and not motivated to go to bed at night. And everything in between, basically. The work is getting done, the kids are getting taken care of ... but the things for me are getting left by the wayside. The writing, the reading, the organizing, the friendships, the exercise—those are the things that I just don't feel like keeping up with. (And yes, I do find organizing fun. :)) A couple years back I had something of an identity crisis, probably based on adjusting to life with two children (and on having taken three very long car trips with same!). And while this isn't a crisis, it feels similar. At that point, it was that not enough of my life was taken up with things for me. That I as a person had gotten lost in the middle of all the child-rearing, etc. In this case, it's less that I've gotten lost ... and more that I just don't have the energy. Part of it I'm sure has been the massive volume of paper I've been buried under, with all my journals having deadlines in the last month. I also wonder if I may have overdone it in the first half of the year with all the self-improvement ... too much pressure to be better at everything? So the point really is that since I don't know what the problem is I'm not sure what the solution is. But then, since it's my stuff that's going undone, and I'm the one who doesn't want to do it, is it really a problem? Hm.