an introvert in extrovert's clothing

We're back into the school year now, and with it all the activities and out-and-aboutness that are a part of the whole "kids in school" experience.

Over the summer, we were rarely out and about in challenging social situations. We saw good friends or strangers or no one at all. While I wouldn't necessarily say that was the right choice, it worked for us and especially for me, cradling me in a lovely introvert cocoon. I didn't have to exert myself to be social, didn't have to be "on" for anyone. But then the school year started ... I've had dinners to deal with, moms at school, run into people in random places like the local ice cream parlor. And my responses have been sluggish, to say the least. I feel that old awkward, out-of-place, wait-for-someone-else-to-initiate shyness.

At the same time, I've become aware that in holding on to old friends and social networks (my comfort zone) I have not developed any new networks. So I'm taking the big plunge: this week alone, I have a playdate, two evening socials, a flag football game, a school pizza party, and potentially a local book group meeting. (Not to mention mornings and afternoons at the bus stop, preschool drop-off and pick-up, and various errands.) At most of which I will not find any "comfortable" friends and will have to exert myself to be confident and socially ept.

Now, left to myself, I probably wouldn't. I'd stay home, hang out with the better half, books computers TV, etc. But as the mom of three kids just starting to make their splash in the local scene, it is an important part of my job to make the mom connections that will help them make kid connections. Getting and keeping them socialized represents an important part of preparing them for the world (and is a step my own mother was particularly bad at, hence my current predicament).

I'm looking forward to the challenge ... somewhat ... having come a long way in the last 5 years toward a real level of confidence in these situations. But I will admit to having regressed quite a bit since we moved last year. Nothing like a bike marathon to help you remember how to ride, right?