parenting

Lots of topics on parenting have come up this morning - both the "No Homework" blog I was reading this morning and a radio excerpt on raising non-cool kids (the author co-opted the word "GEEK", but I don't agree with her definition, so won't use the acronym) have raised thoughts.

My conclusions?

Well, on homework, I feel that there's a happy medium. A parent should be aware of what her (I'm a girl, I'm using my gender term) children are learning, how they're doing, what kind of gaps might need to be filled in. One way to do that is to be an active presence in the school, which I plan to do. Another way is to help them with their homework. Not to do it for them, or to check over it after they've done it on their own, but to help them with it. My plan is to have a designated homework space and time, so I can work with them. On the other hand, a parent should also be aware of when the homework has gone past its usefulness and simply become a time-, enthusiasm-, and energy-suck - and then to be the advocate for her child with the teacher. No child should be doing homework at 3:15 in the morning, or giving up their playtime and time with their family to spend all night sitting at a desk.

On parenting in general - I liked what a guest commenter on the radio program had to say: "Know who you are and parent the best and most sincere way possible." My ultimate goal in raising my children is to raise adults who I can respect and with whom I want to spend time. Their interests may be different from mine, but I want them to approach their interests with enthusiasm and be thoughtful about them. Most of my parenting decisions are in furtherance of this goal, and I feel confident enough that I don't bother adding parenting books to my to-be-read shelf. Only two people are parenting my kids, and we generally know what we're doing.

In addition ... my parents didn't do a very good job. My mom was great in my early years, but really gave up once I hit my "tweens", and my dad never knew what he was doing. This made for some miserable years in my preteen and teen years. But I turned into someone that I enjoy being with. So there's something to be said for the idea that however parent, your kids are going to turn out to be their own people, for better or for worse.