I was thinking about this this morning - things/people that have had huge transitional impacts on my life. There are more, of course, but I think these have had the biggest impact on shaping who I am today.
1. vampyres@guvm. Once upon a time in the dark ages (that would be 1994), a college friend told me about this listserv that talked about vampires. I joined, jumped in the chat, and only two months later got in a (gasp!) stranger's car and drove from New York to Indiana with him. That weekend was the first time I really felt I fit in with a group of people. It was extraordinary. The people I met through that listserv went on to be pivotal in my life, and it was at one of their weddings that I met my husband ... but I think it's the confidence gained through that first Bloodstock that made the biggest difference - meeting people who were like me, articulate, literate, a bit fringy.
2. Lou. I'm hardly the first to extol the benefits of being married - learning to compromise, having someone who believes in you and always wants to spend time with you, etc., and those things have certainly impacted my life - but I feel particularly fortunate to be married to someone so endlessly interested in everything around him, someone so generous with my knowledge and so patient with my lack of it. I hope over time I have learned to take greater interest in things outside my comfort zone.
3. Matthew. You would think losing a child would be a completely negative experience, but as we approach his 9th birthday, I still feel grateful for it. I feel that having had Matthew makes me a more practical, less foofy, calmer, more understanding person. And also, I think I'm much better able to cut to the quick of what's really important ... I don't think I waste nearly as much time and energy on things that don't matter. Finally, I am sure that I am a better parent for having known my beautiful little boy - at the end of the day, I do my best to keep them all happy, healthy, and safe, but I would never deny them the chance to live their lives to the fullest, either.
4. MOPS. It would be hard to find two groups more different than Vampyres and MOPS, but what the one began, the other deepened. My experience in my years at MOPS taught me a great deal about other women, and friendship, and how to be the kind of person other people like to be around. (Key? Chilling out and not worrying about it so much.) There were ups and downs, but in the long run I feel that I entered my 30s a much better friend because of what I learned from MOPS.
5. Dragon Age: Origins. Okay, it's a computer game. And it's only been two months, so perhaps counting on these to be permanent changes is a bit premature ... but the new perspectives on writing and on more intimate topics that I've gained from a two-month obsession with a pile of pixels have made this a very introspective winter in ways that I intend to carry forward.
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