all-natural/pre-packaged

I often wonder how much my attitudes changed on this kind of thing when Matthew died. While pregnant with him, I very much wanted the midwife technique with a non-medicated water birth. I was completely committed to breastfeeding for at least a year. (I don't think I was ever interested in cloth diapering or making my own baby food, though. )

Of course, when Matthew died I didn't care about my "birth experience", and by the time we got around to Greyson being born I was none too sure what my mental state would be like during labor and delivery. I figured I'd have enough to do to hold myself together emotionally without trying to labor without drugs. And from there it just snowballed—for example, rather than worry about him not growing, I chucked breastfeeding. (Also, I really didn't like it ... I don't know if that would have been different with Matthew or not. I suspect it wouldn't have been.)

The thing is, I am happy with my parenting style now. My kids may not be the healthiest eaters on the block, and they may watch a lot of TV, but they're healthy, happy, and about as obedient and good-natured as can be expected from a 3-year-old and a 2-year-old. And, more than that, Lou is happy with our parenting choices, and I am quite sure his stance hasn't changed from before Matthew was born. (He was going along with the whole water-birth thing since it was what I wanted, but I think he was secretly hoping I'd change my mind before going through with it.) And there's a lot to be said for harmony in parenting when trying to have a happy marriage with three small children around!

All things considered, I suspect that my foray into the 'all-natural' world would probably have been brief, and receded in the face of real life. I just don't have the patience or the passion it takes to spend that kind of time. In the grand scheme of things, I can understand how other moms might look down on me for making the easier, more expensive, more ... processed choices—and I appreciate that I have friends who are okay with overlooking the differences between our lifestyles and parent-styles. I suspect we'll inch a little more to the healthy side of things as the kids get older (and we do, too!), anyway.