This may be a repeat. But sometimes it helps to write things down again to remind myself of ... well, of things that it's easy to forget in the heat of the moment.
As you may know, I'm a fairly goal-oriented person. I have traditionally put more stock in the destination than in the journey.
But a couple of years ago, I began making a conscious effort to slow down. To savor my life as it goes by, rather than rushing through it to get to the next mile-marker in the road. I find this makes me a happier, mellower, more generally pleasant person. However, this not being my natural state, it can be difficult to maintain in the midst of the daily grind.
Unfortunately, parenting today doesn't make it easy to kick back and wallow in contentment. There's always something - school budgets, swine flu, reactionary attitudes based on irrational fears - to panic or be outraged about. And that's the bit that I find particularly hard to keep clear of. The panic not so much. I filter pretty well, and I recognize that clear thought and panic don't go well together. Also, I'm not much of a worrier. I like to think about things beforehand, but I mostly don't worry until something's right ahead of me and I can see clearly what there is to worry about.
The outrage is the real issue that I find difficult to duck. Some might say that outrage is good. If you don't get outraged - and share your outrage - how do you change the world? Or, more to my particular concerns, how do you keep the world from changing in ways that you don't like? And there are people out there who can channel their outrage properly and make it a force for good. I am not one of them. When I get outraged, I tend to use big words and complicated sentence constructions that make people think I'm talking down to them. I overstate my case and allow my sense of moral superiority to surface, making the people I'm trying to convince plant themselves even more firmly in the position I'm against. So I've outraged myself, angered the people I was talking to (who generally fall in one friend category or another), and expended a whole lot of energy ... making the situation worse.
So, in the long run, I feel it's more pleasant, more productive, and generally better for everyone if I try to maintain a panic-free and outrage-free life, especially where parenting is concerned. Now if I can only remember that!
As you may know, I'm a fairly goal-oriented person. I have traditionally put more stock in the destination than in the journey.
But a couple of years ago, I began making a conscious effort to slow down. To savor my life as it goes by, rather than rushing through it to get to the next mile-marker in the road. I find this makes me a happier, mellower, more generally pleasant person. However, this not being my natural state, it can be difficult to maintain in the midst of the daily grind.
Unfortunately, parenting today doesn't make it easy to kick back and wallow in contentment. There's always something - school budgets, swine flu, reactionary attitudes based on irrational fears - to panic or be outraged about. And that's the bit that I find particularly hard to keep clear of. The panic not so much. I filter pretty well, and I recognize that clear thought and panic don't go well together. Also, I'm not much of a worrier. I like to think about things beforehand, but I mostly don't worry until something's right ahead of me and I can see clearly what there is to worry about.
The outrage is the real issue that I find difficult to duck. Some might say that outrage is good. If you don't get outraged - and share your outrage - how do you change the world? Or, more to my particular concerns, how do you keep the world from changing in ways that you don't like? And there are people out there who can channel their outrage properly and make it a force for good. I am not one of them. When I get outraged, I tend to use big words and complicated sentence constructions that make people think I'm talking down to them. I overstate my case and allow my sense of moral superiority to surface, making the people I'm trying to convince plant themselves even more firmly in the position I'm against. So I've outraged myself, angered the people I was talking to (who generally fall in one friend category or another), and expended a whole lot of energy ... making the situation worse.
So, in the long run, I feel it's more pleasant, more productive, and generally better for everyone if I try to maintain a panic-free and outrage-free life, especially where parenting is concerned. Now if I can only remember that!
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