my mother

Will she never just go away? She's been dead for 18 months, and I still can't close her estate because I'm waiting for the state of Michigan to get around to processing her taxes. And then some jerk of a collection agent calls me yesterday and claims that I'm responsible (personally, not as estate rep.) for one of her credit card debts. I told him to send me written proof, and he said, "Well, if we send you the proofs, will you pay?" So we went round and round with me saying I refused to commit to making a payment and him asking me why he should send me proof if I wouldn't promise to pay. I'm highly annoyed with myself for letting him get me into an argument, and also for how much this bothers me.

WHY CAN'T SHE JUST DIE!?! Haven't I paid enough price for the crime of being born to that woman?

Isn't it bad enough that I have no family I can lay claim to? I spend every holiday celebrating someone else's traditions because I have no one left who remembers mine. I have no happy memories of the time when my family was together because it's become clear over time that it was all a lie. They never really cared for each other, and certainly they never cared for me enough. My childhood never existed because she insisted on making me into her little companion/carbon copy, and even now, at 30, I still feel like that gawky awkward freak who doesn't have anything in common with the other kids.

I've done a damned good job of making a happy life for myself without letting the fact that I was basically abandoned by both parents define me, and most days I realize that I'm better off without them. But it would all be a lot easier if I could just leave her behind me—exactly how long does she have to be dead before I can stop having to deal with the messes she left behind?!