nervous

The last few days I've been getting increasingly nervous about the baby. Probably it has to do with the 31-week mark coming up—even though rationally I know if something happens, it could happen at any time, 31 weeks still sticks in my mind as the symbolic number. So I wake up and worry: "Is the baby moving less than yesterday?"; "Is my stomach shrinking?"; "What if she isn't growing right?"; "What if something goes wrong and I don't catch it in time?" Etc. I keep half-hoping to go into labor just to have the baby on the outside where I can see her.

It's sad, really, because now that she's dropped I feel so much better physically than I have been. It would be nice to enjoy that more! Hopefully once we get into next week and get past that 31-week mark I'll relax a little more. I just didn't expect it to be a big deal this time around. I guess some of that anxiety just never goes away.